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between a crematorium and a dildo shop 

To find yourself in a situation where you have been undone by your own actions.
"where is Rudy?"

"He's between a crematorium and a dildo shop"

between the dildo store and the crematorium 

1. Complete, total and utterly humiliating failure.

2. To be at rock bottom, in the most embarrassing and potentially absurd way possible. Your life has never been worse.
Man, did you see how sad Rudy's speech was last night? He's really between the dildo store and the crematorium now.

between the crematorium and the dildo shop 

synonymous with "the middle of bumfuck nowhere," except this time, you're so hopelessly pathetic that nobody even WANTS to find your ass.
"So where the FUCK are we again?"
"IDK, somewhere between the crematorium and the dildo shop..."

Cock Crematorium

When you put hot hands or something similar on your freezing cold penis.
My penis was so cold I had to the cock crematorium to warm it up
Cock Crematorium by HughMongusCo February 14, 2022

Creamatorium 

a female being cummed on by 3 or more of your friends in public place.
Cindy is a total Creamatorium.
Creamatorium by MrBlack1984 July 1, 2006

crapatorium

A workplace lunchroom, who's food will inevitably lead to lengthy, multiple trips to the toilet.
"Are you sick? You've been in the can most of the afternoon?"
"Well, I forgot my lunch on the counter this morning, and had no option but to eat down at the crapatorium."
crapatorium by Cock Johnson December 6, 2007