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closeting 

A guy who is trying too hard to convince people he's straight when we all know he's a raging homosexual.
"Oh my god, Eric is sooo hot!"
"Becky, he is totally closeting."
closeting by Floss It April 21, 2009

closeting 

The act of realizing that a very young girl is either very sexy or will be so you will wait till they are legal to fuck them.
Tom: Did you see Sally today?
John: Yeah, to bad shes only 14!
Tom: Oh, dont worry about that I will be closeting her!
John: Oh Yeah!
closeting by jack or jake September 24, 2007

Joe-closeting 

When a poof comes out the closet and grabs a queer Joe cunt and starts gaping his hole making him a paraplegic and ends up becoming his carer for the rest of his life.
Did you know about Joe-closeting his hole for someone.

Clopening 

Clopening is what one does when an erratic work schedule requires that one works until closing time on a given day, and then that they open on the next day. Variations include "Clopen," "Clopener," etc.
Andy: "Man, babe. I really hate my work schedule. They have me closing tonight, and then I open tomorrow. I'll never get any sleep."

Brenz: "Yup, they have you working a Clopening shift!"
Clopening by MadFocus November 27, 2012

Closing The Goddamn Door 

A memeable referance to the classic song by Panic! At The Disco: "I Write Sins, Not Tragedies"
"Haven't you people ever heard of Closing The Goddamn Door, no?"
"Wtf Brendon! We're at a wedding!"
"Oh yes but what a shame, what a shame the poor grooms bride is a whore."
"Oh dear lord..."

clopening 

When a singular individual closes the store, and opens it the following morning.
Will skimped on the closing notes, since he was clopening.
clopening by gobbledygook May 17, 2008