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The act of being inebriated, and finding the need to tell absolutely anyone you know about being a drunk fuck through text messages.
Person One: Fuck. I'm textured. Like Bad
Person Two: Textured?

Person Yes, Textured
Person Two: Textured?

Person Three: You heard the man. TEXTURED
textured by LinleyGames June 25, 2023

textured stranger

Masterbation technique where the user sits on his hand palms facing a slotted chair (metal grill chairs work best) until said hand falls asleep. Person then furiously masterbates with numb hand duplicating the sensation of getting a hand job from a person with textured gloves.
Last night I was in the garage so I gave myself a textured stranger.

Textured Vagina

Cool or superior. Opposite of smooth vagina. Also simply referred to as "textured"
I had a great time at the show. It was textured vagina as fuck
Textured Vagina by Hokiepharm January 7, 2021

SoyBeingsâ„¢ or TVP (Textured Vegetable People) 

A Human-like substance made entirely from soy products.
get a load of these flagrant SoyBeingsâ„¢ or TVP (Textured Vegetable People) over here

neopolitan cappuccino more cappu than ccino and make sure theres no more than 4 ounces of milk, the beans wont have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name right on the cup.

Moxxie's first coffee order from Helluva Boss episode 6, "Truth seekers"
"what do you want mox?", " I'll have a neopolitan cappuccino more cappu than ccino and make sure theres no more than 4 ounces of milk, the beans wont have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name right on the cup. they always spell it foxy or Roxy, i hate that. If you cant handle that i'll have a Ventee traditional misto please use soy milk with two blond shots, Affagato and ristretto. I'd also love 3 vanilla pumps at the bottom, then add the coffee."

texturbed 

when you are very disturbed by the content of a text message
*girl receives text message from ugly guy*:
"hey babe wanna come over and bang?"

*girl says to friend*: "OMG i'm seriously texturbed right now!!"
texturbed by Lizbrez January 26, 2009