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The act of being inebriated, and finding the need to tell absolutely anyone you know about being a drunk fuck through text messages.
Person One: Fuck. I'm textured. Like Bad
Person Two: Textured?

Person Yes, Textured
Person Two: Textured?

Person Three: You heard the man. TEXTURED
textured by LinleyGames June 25, 2023

textured stranger

Masterbation technique where the user sits on his hand palms facing a slotted chair (metal grill chairs work best) until said hand falls asleep. Person then furiously masterbates with numb hand duplicating the sensation of getting a hand job from a person with textured gloves.
Last night I was in the garage so I gave myself a textured stranger.

Textured Vagina

Cool or superior. Opposite of smooth vagina. Also simply referred to as "textured"
I had a great time at the show. It was textured vagina as fuck
Textured Vagina by Hokiepharm January 7, 2021

SoyBeings™ or TVP (Textured Vegetable People) 

A Human-like substance made entirely from soy products.
get a load of these flagrant SoyBeings™ or TVP (Textured Vegetable People) over here

neopolitan cappuccino more cappu than ccino and make sure theres no more than 4 ounces of milk, the beans wont have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name right on the cup.

Moxxie's first coffee order from Helluva Boss episode 6, "Truth seekers"
"what do you want mox?", " I'll have a neopolitan cappuccino more cappu than ccino and make sure theres no more than 4 ounces of milk, the beans wont have the right texture otherwise, and make sure they spell my name right on the cup. they always spell it foxy or Roxy, i hate that. If you cant handle that i'll have a Ventee traditional misto please use soy milk with two blond shots, Affagato and ristretto. I'd also love 3 vanilla pumps at the bottom, then add the coffee."

texturbed 

when you are very disturbed by the content of a text message
*girl receives text message from ugly guy*:
"hey babe wanna come over and bang?"

*girl says to friend*: "OMG i'm seriously texturbed right now!!"
texturbed by Lizbrez January 26, 2009
More from Urban Dictionary

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
The number of years you are still sexually active
While our lifespan is the number of years we will live, our healthspan is the number of healthy years we will have and our sexspan is is the number of years we will continue to be healthy enough to continue having an active sex life.
sexspan by Dr Kat April 21, 2022
Word of the Day on October 28, 2026
A lighthearted reaction upon receiving disappointing news of some sort. Usually something that isn't a particularly a big deal, esp. when it primarily affects someone else - sort of a mild schadenfreude. Sometimes doubled or tripled, and possibly said in a sing-songy voice for added comedic effect to imitate a muted trumpet, which is how the meme originated.
You didn't get any napkins with your takeout pork fried rice? Womp womp.
womp by 175623226 November 3, 2011
Word of the Day on October 27, 2026
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