A widespread and mind-numbing writing appliance used by uncreative teachers and schools to spread dissatisfaction with writing among their students. Though "creative" five-paragraph essays have been written, the form is generally mandated by dull minds to make writing and thinking dull.
All five-paragraph essays begin with an introduction ("tell 'em what you're gonna tell 'em!") followed by three body paragraphs ("tell 'em!") and a frighteningly repetetive conclusion ("tell 'em what you told 'em!").
My teacher is making me write a five-paragraph essay on why I shouldn't think for myself and write creatively in school, but it's like way too boring.
An english essay that is the result of no sleep, no prior planning, or blanking on an in class essay with a result of a full five paragraph essay without any really topic or thesis behind it.
Person one: man I have no idea what I was just writing about on that in class essay. I think it might have just been a five paragraph ramble
Person two: aw sucks bro