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The Susan Boyle Treatment 

A sex act in which one handcuffs a woman to a treadmill, and rails the s*** out of her.
Also known as "The S.B. Treatment"
Greg: "How did your date go last night?"
Paul: "It was pretty correct! We went back to my house and I gave her The Susan Boyle Treatment!"

The Susan Boyle Effect 

When something terrible surprises you when it turns out to be mediocre, thereby juxtaposing the aforementioned terrible something making it appear brilliant.
Susan Boyle is a fugly man-woman. Her singing voice, however, is very average. Because she is so damn ugly, this surprised everyone into thinking her singing voice was angelic. It isn't.

Steve: The Wizard of Oz was a great film...

James: No it isn't. It just appears that way because it was made in a period when all other films were in black and white.

Steve: Aah, the Susan Boyle Effect!

Susan the Happy Trotting Elf 

Song about Susan Walker from British sitcom Coupling describing her.
Lyrics:

I'm Susan the happy trotting elf
I trot and trot and bounce and bounce
I smile a lot and that's what counts
I'm Susan, the happy trotting smile a lotting elf
I'm polite so just for clarity
When I'm cross, I say, "Apparent-LY!"
I'm Susan, the happy trotting smile a lotting elf

Susan The Red Head 

An independent woman that does not take shit from man, woman or doctors.

An independent woman that can hold her own pee and poker cards like any man
Susan The Red Head once stayed at the poker table for a period of 32 hours non-stop

Mary Susan Sue The II 

Some random ass fucking alternate that's after a random ass bitch that killed her kids
Mary: “Hey, Where are my kids?”
John: “Uh.. They're somewhere, Mary Susan Sue The II, Just don't look outside the window..”
Mary: “...You killed my kids.”
John: “Im sorry.”

Susan on the Sly 

A secondary girlfriend, one that is around constantly and annoys you and your personal friends.
Heather - Hey can I have your boyfriends friends phone number?

Girlfriend - No, he says you are a Susan on the Sly