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make a train take a dirt road 

Looks so striking they cause people to act in ways out of the ordinary. This can mean you're attractive or butt ugly.

But it usually means butt ugly.
I went to meet Stan from Tinder but left immediately. He looked NOTHING like his pics!!! dude could make a train take a dirt road!
Guys always go crazy over Marcy! She could make a train take a dirt road.

make a train take a dirt road 

A person (girls usually) who is so attractive, people would do things out of the norm when around her.
Dang, Carrie Fisher used to be able to make a train take a dirt road

take the vein train to a-town 

The reciept of man-meat by the poop-chute. Act of riding summer sausage until the bitter end.
she asked me if she'd missed the five o'clock. I replied, fortunately yes! You can take the vein train to a-town with me!