Word that causes parents to suffer apoplexy when their toddlers learn it from their grandfathers and they subsequently look up the definition in Urban Dictionary
Not to be confused with a regional pronunciation of “blooming” as made popular by Raymond Briggs’ Father Christmas, which is a harmless colloquial ejaculation of frustration.
My child said “bloomin” and I’m worried everyone will think he’s referencing a fictional use of the word which involves a ludicrously specific sex act never performed in the history of human sexual intercourse
A hainous sexual performance in which a man engages in intercourse with 5 women. The man first performs cunnilingus on the first woman, the second and third women are getting probed with two to three fingers in their vaginas. The forth woman is riding the man’s penis in either the cowgirl or the (optional) reserve cowgirl position. The fifth woman is loudly humming on the mans testicles making sure that this sexual act is well and truely heard if there are any people in proximity to this act.
“I had an epic bloomin last night with the birds from work.”
You deserved it you legend, but bloody hell that humming was loud!”
“I was at the rippers last night and copped a mad bloomin with all the strippers!
Oh yeah, how loud was the hum?
Fucken loud mate!”
The act of getting a blowjob while taking a shit while eating a Bloomin' Onion from the Outback Steakhouse. Those three small successes equal the major one known as the 'Bloomin Blumpkin'. This is the pinnacle of achievement one can possibly attain during a lifetime. Nobel Prize winners hope to one day receive a Bloomin Blumpkin.