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Word that causes parents to suffer apoplexy when their toddlers learn it from their grandfathers and they subsequently look up the definition in Urban Dictionary

Not to be confused with a regional pronunciation of “blooming” as made popular by Raymond Briggs’ Father Christmas, which is a harmless colloquial ejaculation of frustration.
My child said “bloomin” and I’m worried everyone will think he’s referencing a fictional use of the word which involves a ludicrously specific sex act never performed in the history of human sexual intercourse
Bloomin by Vr1307 October 12, 2018
A hainous sexual performance in which a man engages in intercourse with 5 women. The man first performs cunnilingus on the first woman, the second and third women are getting probed with two to three fingers in their vaginas. The forth woman is riding the man’s penis in either the cowgirl or the (optional) reserve cowgirl position. The fifth woman is loudly humming on the mans testicles making sure that this sexual act is well and truely heard if there are any people in proximity to this act.
“I had an epic bloomin last night with the birds from work.”

You deserved it you legend, but bloody hell that humming was loud!”

“I was at the rippers last night and copped a mad bloomin with all the strippers!
Oh yeah, how loud was the hum?
Fucken loud mate!”
Bloomin by Lachlan and Swanny August 24, 2017
going viral on the internet
yo dude, that kid is bloomin in his new video on youtube
bloomin by a456332 December 22, 2018

Bloomin’

To be flourishing. At your absolute best. To be at a point that is even more desirable than a blooming onion at Outback
Bloomin’ by Sharky336 March 15, 2019
Something my Scottish parents would say as an easier-on-the-ears way to say ‘bloody’.
I canny find my bloomin car keys!
Bloomin by anonymous August 13, 2026

Bloomin' Onion 

While giving a girl a hardy fisting you open your hand up and pull out.
Man that was the best Bloomin' Onion ever, I didn't think I would get all my fingers back out.
Bloomin' Onion by Steviepq October 9, 2007
More from Urban Dictionary

briefcake 

"Did you check out the briefcake in courtroom C?"
briefcake by Ben Frey April 6, 2006
Word of the Day on November 3, 2026
Brought to public attention by Bob Woodward and Carl Bernstein in the book on the fall of Richard Nixon, All The President’s Men, ratfucker was Nixon’s term for a political operative who sows chaos among opponents; an agent provocateur. It is thought to have originated among campus political rivalries at USC, and seems to have some usage in the US military.
Along with Nixon’s other ratfuckers, Roger Stone caused fights at otherwise peaceful Democratic Party protests to generate a false narrative that the Democrats were violent and dangerous.
Ratfucker by Ricky Ramjet November 2, 2017
Word of the Day on November 2, 2026

countrypolitan 

Term used to describe someone who is a mix of both rural (country) and urban (metropolitan) lifestyles/upbringings. He/she is typically equally comfortable in both settings and is able to seamlessly slip back and forth between the two, appreciating the characteristics of each.
That ol' gal of mine drives the 12 lane freeway during the week and a John Deere on the weekends. She likes opra and the Grand Ol' Opry. I love them countrypolitan women.
countrypolitan by MOChick November 7, 2006
Word of the Day on November 1, 2026

Witch Bath 

A bath consisting of a variety of slats, oils, soaps or any other added ingredients such as fruits, milks, herbs or any other spices for health or beautifying benifits.
She brought home alot of stuff and took it to the bathroom. She must be taking a witch bath.
Witch Bath by carnieboy30 October 26, 2020
Word of the Day on October 31, 2026

kinktober 

An excuse for people to write porn with different types of kinks throughout the month of October.

Smut Fanfiction
That chick doesn't write often but when she does, its for Kinktober.
kinktober by Kinkiest July 12, 2018
Word of the Day on October 30, 2026

proper lad 

a lad that is such a lad that he is a proper lad
person1:did you see bob
person2: ya he was a proper lad
Word of the Day on October 29, 2026
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