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Confused Asian Syndrome 

Abbr: CAS

CAS is characterized by general confusion and lost feeling whilst performing everyday activities. Very common in Asians who are "fresh off the boat"

Though there have been cases in Asian American families second to fourth generation, suggesting that it is somehow hereditary.
Teacher: Do you understand what I just said?

Confused Asian: Yes.

T: What did I just say?

CA: (Stares blankly for a bit) What?

Nearby Student: (Whispers) Classic case of Confused Asian Syndrome
Confused Asian Syndrome by TryDelt December 14, 2010

confused love 

When you don’t know if you love someone or not. You think you do, but aren’t sure. You might think of them in a certain way alone but once you are with them you don’t feel that way. You think your in love, but really aren’t.
“I have confused love. I think I love them but I don’t really know”
confused love by Mlove May 19, 2018

Confused firemen 

def: female strippers when they're dancing on the pole and look like confused firemen, as Bo Burnham (an incredibly awesome comedian/lyrical genius) explained it.
Person 1: Dude, that stripper grinding that pole right now looks like she has no clue what she's doing.

Person 2: Yea. Pole dancers usually look like confused firemen.

confused cheetah 

While banging a female from behind a man places two fingers into anus of said female, then proceeds to remove the fingers and add brown spots to females back. When female turns around to figure out what is going on the confused cheetah has been completed.
I lost my penis and my girlfriend for trying to perform the confused cheetah...but it was really funny.
confused cheetah by Jimmy14 April 6, 2007

Confused Boy Syndrome (CBS) 

An affliction that has reached epidemic levels among young men, aged 18-35, largely in urban areas of the developed world (particularly Brooklyn, NY). Symptoms of the disease include chronic indecisiveness, disintegration of an emotional spine, lack of concentration, extreme selfishness, outbursts of childlike behavior, overly sappy whisperings toward partner followed quickly (sometimes in the same conversation) by unexplained emotional unavailability.

Research is showing that these r symptoms of some perceived or actual quarter life crises, also known as, not having one's shit together. Clinical trials for birthright trips back to the womb have yielded inconclusive results. On their own accord, a select few have seemingly grown the fuck up. They r now living life to its fullest potential.
Why good sir, the itchiness in your cold, tin loins is nothing other than a case of the Confused Boy Syndrome (CBS).

confused.com 

A state of being completely dumbfounded where all sense of logic escapes you. To further emphasise this utopian state, you must be sound like a complete twat on television marketing scheme.
Frank: What is this thing called Women? Does it come on XBox 360?

Bob: No Frank, you tit!

Frank: I'm confused.com... and a complete prick to boot.

Director: CUT!

Frank: Right, where's my 20 pence?
confused.com by S_M_A January 23, 2009