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Cake On Top Of The Candle 

When a chick (normally with a fat-ass) sits right on the top of a guy's full blown boner. *It hurts like hell*
Guy 1: Damn bro, you good? Why are you holding your dick like that?
Guy 2: I just came from inside the party. There was this BAAAD BITCH with a huge butt...
Guy 1: Ayyyye! My boy got some ass!
Guy 2: Well it was good and all at first when she was grinding on me. Out of nowhere I looked down and I had a full-f*cking-chub!
Guy 1: And you f*cked her?! Congrats bro, didn't you had it in you.
Guy 2: Not exactly, I took a seat and didn't realize my little man was standing tall. All of a sudden her ginormous ass crushed my dick and bent it. SHE BENT MY F*CKING BONER!!!
Guy 1: Ouch...Cake On Top Of The Candle?
Guy 2: Exactly...*Falls over passed out*

douche canoe on the lazy river 

The laziest band douche of them all. A person who is such a douche they need a canoe to hold all the doucheness and at the same time is to lazy to get anything productive accomplished.
RN is a douche canoe on the lazy river. I am glad i'm not him

Blowing out the candle, when your house is on fire 

Focusing on a less relevant or less important task when something major needs to be done.

Delaying the inevitable
Sarah: "Isn't you final year project due in for tomorrow?"
Robert:....yeah
Sarah" Then why aren't you working on it?"
Robert: "I'm checking UrbanDictionary..for a laugh"
Sarah:" You have to stop blowing out the candle, when your house is on fire dude"
Robert: "What does that mean?"
Sarah: "Check it on Urban Dictionary"
INSERT VICIOUS CYCLE

all creatures on the feild are destroyed they cant be regenrated

this thot on my body she tryna harass me boy in the back you cannot pass me run to the back and i feel like a athlete, she said that ice said im movin too flashy 

@JUSTJOOO
*clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap clap*
this thot on my body she tryna harass me boy in the back you cannot pass me run to the back and i feel like a athlete, she said that ice said im movin too flashy

If your canoe is stuck in a tree with the headlights on, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon? 

The answer is:

Red.
Can you tell me if your canoe is stuck in a tree with the headlights on, how many pancakes does it take to get to the moon?
RED
Ok thanks