No Offense

A phrase added to an otherwise insulting statement. You say "no offense" right before or after you say something that is insulting. "No offense" allows you to say just about anything you want about anyone.

It is sometimes followed up by "none taken." The recipient of the original comment says "none taken" to signal that they were not insulted.

Without)
Joe: Sally, you've put on some weight
Sally: *slaps the shit out of Joe*

With)

Joe: No offense, Sally, you've gotten fat
Sally: None taken. I guess I should go on a diet. .

by Northendwhitetrash October 4, 2009

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Facepalmable Offense

An act that is worthy of receiving a facepalm

Forgetting to wear clothes is such a facepalmable offense.

by tripolar92 February 14, 2009

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whiteboard offense

Drawing up basketball plays on a whiteboard that relate to relationship advice or getting someone laid

Seth is trying to get with Jasmine, we gotta get the whiteboard offense going to help him out.

by Eatmyshorts21 March 8, 2017

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zone offense

A strategy employed by a group of males at a crowded bar. Members of the group strategically disperse themselves around the bar to pick up females in their particular vicinity.

I got two phone numbers during our zone offense last night.

by T.I.S.F January 11, 2009

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Secretary of Offense

The new name for the Secretary of Defense. Apparently, the best defense is now a good offense. The United States attacks and invades nations if they feel it might benefit them in any way. This, in turn, has led to more support in the Middle East for their Secretary of Offense: Al Qaeda.

Ron Paul: "Extremists don't attack us because we are rich and free. They attack us because we have been OVER THERE!"

You can thank our Secretary of Offense for that!

by boomsham777 May 12, 2011