The Special Delivery 

Go to the washroom. Number two. Take the number two out of the toilet and put it in the freezer. Once frozen insert the hardened number two into the anus of your loved one.

Man, what a night. He had a special delivery waiting for me back at home.

The Special Delivery by Ceris March 1, 2005

wow i been asking for the same thing deliver deliver 

Wow I been asking for the same thing deliver deliver

Wow I been asking for the same thing deliver deliver

wow i been asking for the same thing deliver deliver by Wow I been asking for the same October 27, 2017

The Earl's Delightful Tea Mask

When you're wearing a kilt and squat over someone's face, with your balls near their mouth, and then fart.

It's bad enough you tackled him, worse that you did it while wearing a kilt, but did you really need to give him the Earl's Delightful Tea Mask?

The Earl's Delightful Tea Mask by Zart Cosgrove August 20, 2006

The congressman's delight

When a congressman receives a PRJ from a lobbyist in Knob Creek

The congressman's delight happens statistically more than conversations per minute in D.C.

The congressman's delight by Mousecop1957 March 11, 2026

Promise the moon and deliver a pebble

To promise something really good, and then show something much worse than expected.

"Why would they promise the moon and deliver a pebble?"

Promise the moon and deliver a pebble by Shoe Bench December 20, 2025

Delivered on the Wrong Side of the Vagina 

It's like waking up on the wrong side of the bed, except it's for life.

Bitchy Girl: Ugh. Can't sleep.
Clever Boy: Stroke yourself.
Bitchy Girl: Get a life.
Clever Boy: Done. Got it at Walmart.
Bitchy Girl: Awesome.
Clever Boy: Someeeeone got delivered on the wrong side of the vagina.
Bitchy Girl: How rude are you right now?
Clever Boy: Enough to be called rude. I guess that's obvious, though.

At this point I'd recommend a snack. Say, doritos. Or yogurt. Yogurt has the potential to be healthy and delicious at the same time.
Bitchy Girl: Honestly, fuck off.
Clever Boy: You should have your own show on MTV.

Delivered on the Wrong Side of the Vagina by TheDonald June 12, 2009

Delivering the Dogs

A euphemistic term commonly associated with gay men in an attempt to announce in a classy and refined way that they are preparing...even eager...to engage in powerful anal sex with an amenable sloppy party bottom

Girlfriend, I would love to stay and chat but my boyfriend is home on shore leave so I need to run and get a pack of Magnums...daddy's gonna be delivering the dogs tonight.

Delivering the Dogs by Dirk Strongold June 12, 2011