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sweating like a pedophile at a wiggles concert 

laura: OMG Mr Edmonds sweats alot
robert: it's gross
jarrod: Yeah he is sweating like a pedophile at a wiggles concert

Like a hotdog at a hamburger party

EARL: "Hey Billy, look at that woman with the peacock hat on"
BILLY: "What in the hell is she wearin that to the ho-down fer?"
EARL: "I dunno. But she sure do look like a hotdog at a hamburger party"

laugh at somebody like a tuna at a turtle 

to laugh at somebody out of sheer fondness of that person
If you can laugh at somebody like a tuna at a turtle and he doesn't feel offended, you can call him your friend.

Sweatin' like Michael Vick at a PETA rally 

1. When you are scared out of your wits that you are gonna get caught or in trouble for doing something you shouldn't be.

2. (Syn) Sweatin' like a whore in church.
Man I was driving home from the bar after some suds and when that cop turned his lights on behind me I was sweatin' like Michael Vick at a PETA rally!

like a girl at a RUSH concert

one which is out of place. does not fit.

[Hanging] like Dick Turpin at a junction 

Also pronounce 'anging'. To be suffering from the combined effects of lack of sleep, amnesia, and an over-indulgence of alcohol and/or other stimulants following a prolonged session with ones friends.
"I never made work Monday, I was hanging like Dick Turpin at a junction"