You Won't Last Five Minutes Playing This Game 

A typical pornhub ad that usually advertises a sex game. If you're horny enough to click on it, be prepared to insert your address, social security number, and credit card information. If you're a fan of watching a caveman fuck a dinosaur or watching Shrek porn, it is highly recommended that you jerk off to that ad.

Pornhub Ad: You Won't Last five Minutes Playing This Game ...
Me: TEST ME YOU FOOL

You Won't Last Five Minutes Playing This Game by the bravest FUckfaCE February 9, 2020

so five minutes ago 

Totally and completely out of date, or style. Recently hip, or cutting edge, but no longer so.

Oh my Gawd! Those acid-washed, wide-leg raver pants are SO five minutes ago!

so five minutes ago by Cap'n Sweaty! October 9, 2003

In five minutes 

THE BIGGEST FUCKING LIE EVER! GOD DAMMIT YOU’RE AT THE CLUB PARTYING!

Person 1: Ok babe, I’ll be home in five minutes
Person 2: Oh fuck.

In five minutes by Depressed420Boi69( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) June 12, 2018

Football Five Minutes 

About an hour.

"Hey man, you want to go out for dinner in about a Football Five Minutes? "
"What?"

"Ya know like an hour?"

"Eh?"

Football Five Minutes by TheVondellian May 22, 2021

Texas five minutes 

A period of waiting for something to occur that is significantly longer than that which was promised.

"The meeting was supposed to start at 3:00, but I keep getting the Texas five minutes from the receptionist".

Texas five minutes by larrydart January 30, 2009

Your mum for five minutes 

A humorous response to someone who ask you what your going to do with your cash

John: Hey what would you buy for one pound eighty

Billy:Your mum for five minutes

Your mum for five minutes by Fingerblaster43 December 31, 2016

Back in five Minutes 

Callum Johnsons 5 minutes are actually 25 minutes

Callum - "ill be back in five minutes"

Call- hes gone for a pot noodle

Back in five Minutes by Connor Bernard June 24, 2018