Hang on two seconds and a monkey 

A phrase used to express surprise or bewilderment at the occurrence of an unlikely event.

‘Hang on two seconds and a monkey! My cup of tea tastes like brandy!’

Hang on two seconds and a monkey by dontletmeinthere December 28, 2020

two second slider 

A crap that takes only a couple of seconds to take; shoots out like a rocket; comes out very smoothly... A SHIT THAT IS UNIQUE BECAUSE WHEN YOUR ASS IS WIPED, THERE IS NO SHIT ON THE TOILET PAPER; A COMPLETELY CLEAN SHIT.

"oh man, i only like taking a shit if its a two second slider- otherwise, i feel dirty when i wipe..."

two second slider by jennifer nasherson December 17, 2008

two second style 

Quickly, in a hurry, pronto, hasty, fast, etc.

Relax, just wait, I'll be at your house fucking two second style.

two second style by JhEf January 30, 2009

Two Second Speed Up 

When a guido approaches slowly in his tricked out Honda Civic, speeds up for the 2 seconds it takes to pass you in order to look sweet, then immediately slows down again.

Two Second Speed Up

Two Second Speed Up by CPD2011 May 11, 2011

Two Second Dave 

When a guy is receiving a hand job (usually a Light Bulb HJ) and he cums within roughly two seconds.

Man, I'm a Jewish girl named Steph, and I gave that guy a Light Bulb HJ last night, and he was definitely a Two Second Dave

Two Second Dave by Luke R April 14, 2008

Two second butta nutta 

1. One who can not last during any type of sexual activity.

1. Omg Tim! Why are you a two second butta nutta? I was not even getting started!

Two second butta nutta by I-hop650 May 31, 2011

two-second fight 

A fight, generally started by an inexperienced fighter, against a much more experienced fighter, which ends in roughly two seconds

An idiot on the street picked a fight against a black belt Jiu-Jitsu. It was a two-second fight.

two-second fight by youngleftyguy March 8, 2021