Skip to main content

Trouser Snake 

The Trouser Snake is the most feared yet desired animal in the Animal Kingdom. When threatened, the normally docile and relaxed trouser snake tenses up into an erect position in order to increase its size to scare off an attacker. However, if this show of size and ferocity doesn't provoke fear its attacker, the Trouser Snake has been known to use its body to viciously ram the opponent repeatedly until it is driven away. Even more astounding, if the trouser snake can't frighten off an attacker with its body, it has been known to spit a white, gooey substance into an opponent's face, usually aiming for the eyes or oral region. His substance has been shown to induce either two reactions - uncontrollable gagging and blindness, or curiously enough, intense sensations of pleasure and satisfaction. This act has been linked to provocations from surprise, physical stimulation, and also in displays of sexual prowess for its partner or potential mate.
Candy surprised a sleeping Trouser Snake by grabbing it around the neck - in response, the Trouser snake stood up and spit a mouthful of white goo onto her chest.
Trouser Snake mug front
Get the Trouser Snake mug.
See more merch

trouser snake dancing 

british slang word for sex.
the british can be a bit on the mad side.
Were going to go home and do a bit of trouser snake dancing ;

trouser snake 

person 1:you touched his trouser snake?!

person 2:i just coudln't help muh-self!>.<

trouser snake oil 

Any product claiming to extend or expand the penis, produce longer lasting or firmer erections, or increase ejaculate volume that is not produced by a reputable pharmaceutical company (and thus of dubious safety and efficacy). The subject of much of the spam you receive and (sensibly) discard.
Hey, check out this spam. The writers claim to be able to cure any illness, but that seems like a stretch when they haven't mastered spelling. Must be hawking trouser snake oil.

Cambodian Trouser Snake 

Noun: An endangered species that hides in the pants, or more commonly the underwear of male humans. It is always ready to attack the female humans - in some cases male - in a desperate attempt to gain self respect or popularity ; Often exaggerated in size.
Person A: "Oh my, there's a snake in there!"

Person B: "It looks like my Cambodian Trouser Snake has gotten loose! We should try and tame it before it attacks."

charming the one eyed trouser snake 

A new term which I just invented on the spot which refers to male masturbation.
Martin: I watched some wicked hardcore porn last night mate.
Matt: Really?
Martin: Yeah, it was so good that I couldn't resist charming the one eyed trouser snake!!
Matt: Cool

Wrestling the One eyed trouser snake 

other way of saying masturbate or jack off
Friend 1: hey what were yo doing yesterday
Friend 2: i was Wrestling the One eyed trouser snake.