Mount Hebron High School
Coming from a basement full of girls who attended Mount Hebron, here is the REAL definition. Girls lacrosse players think they are awesome when in actuality these are the best years of their life and theyre going to grow up to be just like their moms, pop out a few dozen kids and eventually become chubby, depressed alcoholics. Boys lacrosse players are just retarded, dont know how to spell 'lacrosse' so they just call it lax, and are going to grow up to be 'baby daddys', live in Town and Country and work at Highs because they have to pay child support. The rest of sports teams are okay kids, because they all pretty much pale in comparison to the asshole lacrosse ones. Half of the teachers have been there for fourteen thousand years and the other half are about 21 and were taught by the first half. A good 25 percent of the students either do not, or choose not to, speak english. You always want to befriend an asian on the first day of class, because you can always count on them to do an entirety of a group project for you. The building itself is dirty, either from rat shit or from the team of four old ass people that 'clean' the school. But really they are smoking pot in the bathrooms by the cafeteria. Between classes, if you go to the bathroom, you can almost ALWAYS encounter a drug deal. The room numbers make NO sense. And 'up' and 'down' staircases, well dont even worry about that. You might run it to a bake out on the closed staircases though, especially if you go to the one by the art rooms. The drama kids are lame and they think they are actually going to entertain someday, since they performed in the infamous TS productions. Come on, a gay math teacher whose equally gay wife acts as his beard? But the plays WERE good. And the sets were built by the only rednecks that went there, who hung out in the back of their pickups blasting country after school. The band kids are talented too, but they have far too much sex. Not that theres anything wrong with that, but they did it IN the building. Then there are the gay guys (thats what all that fluffly, polo wearing parenting will do to a boy) who youve known about since freshman year and then finally, a year after graduation, find out about for real on facebook (interested in: Men) Young life is slowly trying to take over the school. Fliers can be found all over the floors along with the rest of the shit, and in the hands of all the second string preppy kids who are trying to find meaning in their lives because they get benched. And when they FINALLY get married and they FINALLY have sex, they are going to push out a bunch of jesus freaks just like them. And they all live in the mount hebron neighborhood. Finally, there are the kids you see at graduation rehearsal, and you think to yourself 'Who the fuck is that guy?' It was a fun four years, mostly because you always had someone to mock. They were the best for the kids that kept themselves from being a walking stereotype. And even though the suicide rate is so much higher because of the horribly difficult classes, when you leave the shit hole, youre ready for higher education. To all of the above, we only need to say, "Come on now, you know its true."
Mount Hebron High School by graduates July 26, 2008