In one eye out the other

When your mind is completely elsewhere or unfocused as you watch someone demonstrate how to complete a certain task

Him: Aaaaand it’s that easy! That’s how you put a windshield wiper on a car. Now you try to put the other one on!

You: yeah I would love to but all of that just went in one eye out the other…

In one eye out the other by Ositam September 16, 2021

Piss in one's pocket 

Australian slang.

Pissing in a person's pocket means to insincerely attempt to convince a person that you're doing them a favour, when you actually have only your own interests (generally either making a profit or ingratiating oneself) at heart.

i.e. You are pissing in a person's pocket, and trying to convince them that you're doing them a favour by warming their pocket. But realisticly all you're doing is soaking their pants in urine.

"That salesman was a complete dickhead. Constantly pissing in my pocket, trying to tell me how much I needed (insert product here)."

Piss in one's pocket by Dave_3141592 November 14, 2004

He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic 

Bridge to the Picard Song.

Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise
Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise

???

He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic (hypnotic...)

Incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic

He just kept talking in one long incredibly unbroken sentence moving from topic to topic so that no one had a chance to interrupt, it was really quite hypnotic by fffffffffff December 24, 2007

put all one's sperm in one basket 

(verb) To make major life decisions based solely around an anticipated, currently nonexistent, and typically unlikely, future relationship; said of a male.

I feel sorry for Joe. He quit his job and moved to Los Angeles because Jane was moving to Los Angeles, then Jane met a guy down there and Joe hates it there. He put all his sperm in one basket.

(the example should include "put all one's sperm in one basket" verbatim, but that would be bad grammar, so I have to write it somewhere)

put all one's sperm in one basket by mathjedi March 28, 2009

make happy in one's pants 

1. To suddenly discover that one, under circumstances of excitement or happiness, that one has in fact ejaculated.

2. Goes the same for any type of substance which has been released into the underpants.

Mommy...I made happy in my pants again...
What have i told you about playing on the tyre swing?

1. Wow! A Butterfly!
It's enough to make happy in one's pants

2. You make one happy in one's pants!

make happy in one's pants by Pie Brother TB January 20, 2008

Wish in one hand, shit in the other. 

"Wish in one hand, shit in the other. See which one gets filled first." When a person wants the impossible.

Joe: We need world peace. Can't we just all get along?
Tom: Well Joe, Wish in one hand, shit in the other.

Wish in one hand, shit in the other. by ebensteben April 27, 2008

legend in one's own mind

It is a person that exaggerates their self importance. These people like to boast or brag about their achievements, positions and accomplishments. Often seen as drama queens, blowhards and egomaniacs. These people like to inflate their credentials, but in reality they're not that important.

The people who like to inflate their claim to fame are a legend in one's own mind.

legend in one's own mind by Preston Pierce August 2, 2009