Granola hoe

When you are a hoe, but you’re kind of a hippie or tumblr girl. Usually to describe tumblr or niche meme fashion that’s slightly grungy, baddie, and hipster. Or you might just like granola, who knows

Damn, I’m such a granola hoe on tumblr. I’m always thrifting for those flannels

Granola hoe by Sushi mom September 28, 2018

Granola lady 

Someone who is very plane

yo moma is a granola lady

Granola lady by mr mayonase January 4, 2012

granola smoker

Overly environmentally-conscious hippie. Usually with a beard. Tend to be liberals, or even communists if extreme.

Guy 1: Why is Jim's cupboard full of empty coke bottles?
Guy 2: He drinks out of those. He's a granola smoker

granola smoker by Nygma February 4, 2015

granola top

A bland bisexual man

Shannon look at the granola top standing by the bar.

granola top by Yougaybastard March 28, 2020

Granola Stomp 

The desire to or actually have sex with those who are "hippie" or "granola" even though they may not be your normal sexual tastes. Kombucha is usually involved.

Subarus, rock climbing, all natural or sporadic bathing habits, and a dash of B.O. are typical traits of these "granola" or "hippie" folk.

Usually a one time experimental experience.

I would totally granola stomp that chick.

I had a granola stomp last night.

Granola Stomp by a-letto March 19, 2021

Granola-bar 

A granola-bar is used to make friendships with any and all C2s. Just make sure you keep bringing granola bars with you (as many as you can), and don't think that fruit-snacks can be used as a permanent substitute.

C2: Now, I brought you all here because you have been giving me fruit snacks instead of granola-bars.
Persons 5, 6 and 8: We thought that fruitsnacks were ok to be used.
C2: NO! Now, you better all have granola-bars
Persons 5, 6 and 8:

Granola-bar by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 14, 2021

Granola bars 

What C2s create friendships in order to get.

Person 1 Why does my friend keep stealing my granola bars??

Person 2: Because she's a C2!

Granola bars by THE REAL MAYO MAN April 21, 2021