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Shredding it up on my platter 

The case of my phone should be well protected cause when im shredding it up on my platter i don't wanna bust my droid

Leaving the seat up on the TiVo 

To leave the TV on a channel that annoys someone else in the house when turning off the TV.
I get SO mad when I see the Lifetime network everytime I turn the tv on. I started Leaving the seat up on the TiVo and changing the channel to NFL Network before I turn the TV off.

It showed up on my news feed 

What you say when someone accuses you of Facebook stalking. Since it just showed up on your news feed, you couldn't have been secretly reading their profile, right?
Joe: Man, that party last night was sick...

Mike: Oh, that one you went to at 9:23 pm at Bob's house?

Joe: Whoa, how did you know that? You aren't stalking me, are you?

Mike: ...it showed up on my news feed.

help I just searched myself up on urban dictionary 

You just searched your self up on urban dictionary and now you need help
1. delete your search history
2. go to your therapist

don't forget to tell him/her that I sent you there
Person1: Help I just searched myself up on urban dictionary! What do I do?
Person2: Just search "help I just searched myself up on urban dictionary".

Sunny Side Up on the way to the Butt 

A good day is always started with some sunny side up on the way to the butt

Steady up on the p 

Is Keesha a ho? Yeah, sure is, steady up on the p.