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Café Ecologist 

Generally, a government employee or environmental consultant who has no practical field skills or an understanding of ecology.

Unable to navigate in the bush without the aid of a touch screen device. Turn up into the field dressed in completely new clothes, almost always in khaki and predominately featuring an outdoors store latest season catalogue. Various digital accoutrements hang off their belt to help with managing the wilderness. Prone to printing off a small woodlands worth of paperwork with every page colour coded, labelled and compartmentalised in corresponding coloured manilla folders. Cannot change a tyre.

Spend the majority of their time in the office obsessing of minor inconsequential details which will be overlooked by the client. Readily plot survey points on a map with scant regard for topography, vegetation density or difficulty of access for which they will then send out contractors to complete the actual work. Dislike meetings but will tolerate them for the tiny catered sandwiches during mid-morning tea. Drink soy lattes.

Have the fitness of a wounded gazelle. Consider light wind a significant hazard and will accordingly cancel the days work. Accustomed to hefty meal allowances of which most will be spent on sourdough and chia seeds. Don’t like spiders or things getting in their hair. Find fieldwork emotionally and physically traumatising despite their Instagram hashtags indicating otherwise.

Readily identify as an ‘ecologist’ in their email signature.
Standing at the precipice of a volcano looking down into a cauldron of boiling, angry lava.
Ecologist 1: Who put the site down there?
Ecologist 2: A fucking café ecologist.

ecologist 

a cool person who does science, drinks beer, loves the outdoors, and is invariably hot and sexy
"You don't look like one of those pasty scientists that spends all day in the lab and never has any fun."
"That's because I'm an ECOLOGIST."
ecologist by streamlover October 3, 2013

epicologist 

One who dedicates his career in the studies of epicness. These people often are cool, and awesome, and make quite a bit of money.
If you ever run into an epicologist the best things to do are:
A) Shake their hand
B) Hug them (Regardless of their sex)
C) Give them more money as they need to become even more epic

How to identify a epicologist:
There is no way to identify a epicologist, for they are to god-like to identify.
Examples of an epicologist are:
Neil Bohr due to one of his quotes
Neo from the Matrix
Stewy from Family Guy
and many others.
epicologist by Jerzxu April 2, 2008

emologist 

someone who studies emo's and their ways like sandra sands who wrote an article in the guardian which was completely slated in kerrang magasine (september 06)
sandra sands is an emologist, she thinks she knows everything
emologist by The-Emologist October 15, 2006

emologist 

One who is dedicated to studying the bizarre animals that resemble humans, known as "emos".

These animals cut themselves for what seems like no reason but emologists are dedicated to finding out what the fuck is wrong with their heads that they would do such a thing. All of these strange creatures do not cut themselves but they do indulge themselves in a horrendous music genre that is named after their race; emo. It flat out sucks.
Metalhead: Bryant and Mike are emologists. Once, bryant spit on a dying emo kid.

Metalhead2: Wow, i wanna be just like them, and grow up to be an emologist.
emologist by Bryant September 15, 2004

Do You Have to go to college to be an emojiologist?

No. Emojiology Is a extremely simple career for teenagers. The requirements to be a Emojiologist is too start posting emojis on Instagram as a teenager and then keep posting them until you make a $1 Million Dollars.
Do You Have to go to college to be an Emojiologist?