telescope
One of many euphemistic terms for a penis. Most famously used in this context in the Big Bang Theory episode, "The Boyfriend Complexity." In that episode, Howard and Raj accidentally kissed each other in the control room for a telescope. The next day, when Leonard casually asked Howard and Raj what had happened, both of them freaked out, even though Leonard hadn't heard about the kiss.
(FROM THE BIG BANG THEORY)
*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*
LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?
RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.
LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?
RAJ: Why? You writing a book?
SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.
RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!
SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.
*Howard walks over to the table.*
HOWARD: Hey.
LEONARD: Hey.
SHELDON: Hello.
HOWARD: Hey.
RAJ: Hey.
LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?
*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*
HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!
RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!
HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!
RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!
HOWARD: Fine!
RAJ: Thank you!
RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.
*Sheldon and Leonard are at the table in the cafeteria. Raj joins them.*
LEONARD: Oh, how'd it go last night?
RAJ: Oh, you know, same old same old. Looked through a telescope, saw some stars, big move.
LEONARD: Really? You waited months for a time with that telescope. What happened?
RAJ: Why? You writing a book?
SHELDON: I'm going to propose a hypothesis. Last night, Raj accidentally made contact with an alien civilization, and has been ordered by the United States government to keep it a secret.
RAJ: Nothing happened! Can we please just change the subject?!
SHELDON: That sounds rehearsed. We are not alone.
*Howard walks over to the table.*
HOWARD: Hey.
LEONARD: Hey.
SHELDON: Hello.
HOWARD: Hey.
RAJ: Hey.
LEONARD: You get to play with Raj's big telescope last night?
*Howard and Raj both react with shock.*
HOWARD: Where'd that come from?!
RAJ: He never touched my telescope!!
HOWARD: Way to go shutting up!
RAJ: I did shut up, now you shut up!
HOWARD: Fine!
RAJ: Thank you!
RAJ: I can't believe you didn't call me this morning.
telescope by Daedalus Suburbanus December 6, 2013
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