divorced 

The best thing that could possibly happen to a married man, a blessing in disguise. It tends to be rather painful and expensive, but worth it in the end.

Example 1) I caught that fuckin tramp Laura cheating on me again. My lawyer says I should be divorced from that skanky slut in about 12 months.

Example 2) Bob and I are getting divorced. I'm going to assrape him so bad in court. His wallet will never be the same!

Example 3) Hi, I'm Laura, nice to meet you. I've only been married and divorced three times, my three kids all have different dads.

Example 4} I've had enough pain and suffering, I'm getting divorced.

divorced by Floss 69 April 8, 2006

divorced 

Someone who is divorced from their former husband or wife has separated from them and is no longer legally married to them.

He is divorced from Roxy's mother, Julia, but they live nearby

divorced by Seif Hosam May 11, 2020

Divorced 

Having beliefs that are inconsistent with rational thought. Divorced from reality.

Tom Brady is reaching new levels of divorced by giving up a sports commentator gig to try stand-up comedy.

Divorced by vuxedo voxel February 28, 2023

Divorced Barbie 

The Most expensive barbie there is.

Comes with Kens car, Kens house, Ken's computer, and Ken's dog.

Why does the divorced barbie cost $200?!

Divorced Barbie by IntAdd January 6, 2009

divorced dad energy 

An adult male who responds after a divorce usually initiated by the woman, with either a mental or physical crisis resulting in fits of quick anger, moodiness or buying of expensive items to compensate for his insecurity or sadness. He may also try to hit on much younger girls that are out of his league because he is going through a midlife crisis and wants to please his ego

“Hey yo, why did Greg just throw a tantrum when I started talking about Mary and I going out on our 5 year anniversary vacation together?”

“Idk but it’s giving off major divorced dad energy”

divorced dad energy by Bob the KillBillder October 9, 2022

divorced-dad 

Resembling the behavior or stereotypical style of American middle-aged divorced fathers.

"He keeps making dick jokes."
"I know - so divorced-dad."

divorced-dad by FuBug November 2, 2017

divorced parent syndrome 

a fictional disease which is characterized by the following:

1. divorced parents.

2. either an exagerrated innate need to be in a relationship or a laid-back view on relationships and love.

3. repating information or stories because you forgot which parent you told.

4. not telling one parent information or stories because you told the other and forgot.

CHILD: jen's party is tonight!
MOM: you never said that!
CHILD: oh, i must have told dad that. divorced parent syndrome.

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CHILD: jen's party is tonight!
DAD: you already told me that!
CHILD: oh, sorry, i have divorced parent syndrome.

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GIRL: omg my boyfriend just broke up with me.
BOY: hey there girl.
GIRL: omg i'm going to have a crush on you because i have divorced parent syndrome and need to be in a relationship.

divorced parent syndrome by doctor of divorced kids February 7, 2010