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stfu you guitards

you still shit your diapers
guitards by swallow my meat April 30, 2004
A band situated in Kitchener, Ontario, consisting of (name censored) on rhythm guitar, Vlad on lead guitar and Luis who thinks he can play drums but actually can't even keep a beat 'cause he's gay and looks at anime crap and wears pants that look like funnels (fhoom). This band has no skill but tries its best. Sadly, they can play songs like "Hey There Delilah" and "Funky Town".

The band is way too fucking good to have a bass or a lead singer, or lyrics to their songs for that matter. They actually jam naked 'cause they think it stimulates the hormones in the sexu....brain. If you are reading this please move your mouse cursor to the top right of your screen and click the red button with the x on it.
1. Nerd: Oh my god I went to the band show and saw the Guitards!!!!11one!

2. Vlad: So...let's play a song.
Luis: I'll TRY to keep a rhythm going this time.
(10 minutes of playing)
(name censored): Wow that was pretty good, Guitards.
Vlad: NOOOOOO
(takes his guitar and cuts off Luis' head 'cause he can't play for shit and wears funnels for pants)(fhoom)
Guitards by ArkaneDemon June 26, 2008

Guitarist 

The guy who your girlfriend left you for.
Dude... She left you for the guitarist of your own band!!!

grandpa's guitars 

A term used in the show Metalocalpyse on Episode 1.4 (Dethtroll) by Toki and Skwisgaar to describe old-fashioned, ancient, out of style accoustic guitars- which according to them, should be avoided at all costs because they're apparently for pussies and grandpas. It can be used in the singular and plural sense, due to its pseudo-Nordic roots.
Murderface: What are those wooden things? Chairs?
Barkeep: They are acoustic instruments.
Toki: What is acoustic? Oh, you mean a grandpa's guitars?
Skwisgaar: A grandpa's guitars? That's for pussies and grandpas. I think you know it.
Barkeep: It's your only choice, I'm afraid.
Pickles: Whoa, this is a tough one guys.
Nathan: Pickles is right, we have a tough choice. Playing acoustic is totally lame and not metal. But then again, if we don't put that troll back to sleep, we may never be able to check our e-mail with high-speed DSL again.

Toki: THE GRANDPA'S GUITARS ARE SMASHEDS!!
Skwisgaar: (referring to lake troll) Dudes, here comes that guy!
Nathan: Wait! The phones! Use the Dethphones! Throw them at that guy!
grandpa's guitars by VioLush May 20, 2007

guitarsenal 

John Petrucci has one of the most extensive guitarsenals in metal.
guitarsenal by Dirk Pitt April 7, 2008

Cymbals Eat Guitars 

Awesome indie rock band from Staten Island. Sometimes incorrectly mentioned as blatant rip-offs of Pavement or other '90s indie rock bands; in reality CEG have a sound that is completely their own. Why There Are Mountains was one of the best records of the 2000s.
Have you heard that new Cymbals Eat Guitars record yet?

I'm seeing Cymbals Eat Guitars tonight, should be a good show.