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one upper 

An annoying person who responds to hearing someone else’s experience or problem by immediately telling a similar story about themselves with a much more fantastic (or terrible) outcome.
Person: I got to meet James Hetfield before the concert and I got his autograph.
One Upper: Yeah, well my cousin knows the head of security for Metallica, and he got us front row tickets to the show and then we went backstage and met the whole group. Then they invited us back to their hotel room and we partied with them all night.

Person: I have a a dislocated knee.
One Upper: Yeah, well last summer I broke my leg in four places and had to have a steel pin inserted. I also had to have surgery done on my knee to repair the torn ligaments. I was on crutches for almost two months.
one upper by Dawn Davenport December 1, 2004

the upper decker 

the act of deficating in the upper tank of ones toilet leaving a foul stench undiscovered with the remnants of muddy water
before i got kicked out of that bar last night i gave them the upper decker

upper perk 

A small district in Pennsylvania known for being predominantly white, spending more money on sports fields than school supplies, and crashing cars into houses.
Steve: Want to go to Upper Perk this weekend?
John: Bro, where even is that?
upper perk by Ngrglue August 6, 2016

upperqueef 

did your really get upperqueefed? Dick face
upperqueef by StinkyNiglet February 3, 2019

Upper Decker

Step 1) Make sure nobody's around.

Step 2) Quietly open the lid of the upper-section of the victim's toilet.

Step 3) Quietly place the lid down on the floor.

Step 4) Then take a nice shit in the upper-section of the toilet without letting anybody hear you.

Step 5) Wipe your ass.

Step 6) Place the soiled toilet paper in the upper-section of the toilet or in a drawer or magazine.

Step 7) Slowly lift the lid off the floor with your fingers under it and carefully bring it over to the toilet.

Step 8) Here's the hard part; with your fingers under the lid
slowly place the lid on the toilet. No false moves or you're screwed.

Step 9) Leave and don't let anybody see you. Just bail as quickly as possible.

Step 10) Mission accomplished.
Plumber: It looks like you have feces in your toilet's tank.

Victim: It must have been an upper decker.

Plumber: Yeah right. Its already clear that you're stupid enough to shit in there!
Upper Decker by Mike_Litoris June 29, 2011
'Promoted': used in the workplace. Created by Karl Pilkington.
"Did you hear? John got uppered yesterday!"
uppered by Millipenio January 21, 2008