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in 5 minutes 

A phrase said by people in hopes to shut you up about asking them when something will happen. 99% of the time, the anticipated event doesn't happen in 5 minutes. It often doesn't even happen in 15 minutes.
At 3:10 PM
Person 1: When the hell are you getting here? This was scheduled for 3:00 PM!
Person 2: In 5 minutes.
Person 1: OK.
***20 minutes later***
Person 1: It's been way more than 5 minutes, what the hell are you doing?
Person 2: hold on! Why are you so impatient?
Person 1: Because you told me you'd be here in 5 minutes!
in 5 minutes by lordcg January 8, 2018
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In 5 minutes 

The biggest lie that we have been told by our friends
"¿When are you gonna be ready?"
"I'll be ready in 5 minutes"
*4 hours later*
"Hey im ready now"

I'll be ready in 5 minutes 

The validation of Einstein's theory of relativity, in which the concept of five minutes is infinitely elastic, and feminine.
"I'll be ready in 5 minutes" she liked to say, and he knew he could relax for at least an hour.

I'll be there in 5 minutes 

Phrase | You actually say I'll be there in 5 hours

5 Minutes in Wonderland 

A slang term for a salvia trip. This is due to the fact that after smoking salvia, a trip lasts for approximately 5 minutes but is so intense that it can be compared to being in Wonderland.
Man, I scored some 50x for real cheap from the head shop downtown. We're going to get together tonight and have 5 minutes in Wonderland.

5 Minutes in and out 

To presume that a task will be short in length, when in reality it turns out to be the complete opposite, and an unbelievable nightmare to boot. First used by Sir Laurie Painter of Salisbury
"Listen I've got a quick job for you, 5 minutes in and out"

5 minutes in Paint 

Spending little to no time in making/fixing a picture/image
5 minutes in Paint by psyc October 16, 2012