A turtle 

Basically a lesbian but a reptile

I sexually identify as a turtle.

A turtle by JJmakesdumbstuff April 8, 2021

guillotining a turtle head 

The act of pinching off the tip of a loaf after it has been coming out of your asshole before you reached the bathroom. Most of the time resulting in a skid mark in your drawers.

Hey, can you pull over at the next stop? I'm guillotining a turtle head over here. (spoken from the passenger seat during a long drive)

guillotining a turtle head by spiderno22 August 22, 2010

growing a turtle head 

A past due bowel movement that simply cannot be held much longer.

Sorry I gotta run, I'm growing a turtle head.

growing a turtle head by BlastFamous July 6, 2009

Milking a turtle 

Doing a lot of work for a reward that isn't really there.

guy 1: Hey man, I've been saving up money to buy my ex-girlfriend this engagement ring to show her i love her after i cheated on her.

guy 2: You're milking a turtle, bro, she isn't going to take you back.

Milking a turtle by doremiabc November 20, 2010

punt out a turtle 

To defecate.

I'm going to be late, got to punt out a turtle.

punt out a turtle by Private Gomer Pyle May 13, 2010

Bishop in a turtle neck 

An un-circumsized penis

My penis looks like a bishop in a turtle neck.

Bishop in a turtle neck by heyheybaybay123456789 February 2, 2012

two cats and a turtle 

A euphemism for the male genitalia. Two cats (furry balls) and a turtle (the penis which retracts when it's cold).

Would you like to come to my house and sit on my couch and drink some wine? I have two cats and a turtle wink wink.

two cats and a turtle by Rudelittlepig April 20, 2018