euphemism

A word people use because they like deceiving themselves to believe we live in a Utopia.

Mostly they're used by organizations and "considerate" people who don't want to offend the "situationally disturbed" citizens.

George Carlin, a comedian, did a great schpiel about euphemisms once. (A few of the following examples are in his speech.)

You should read it. It may not "open your eyes," but you'll realize how much we like to disguise our speech and blind ourselves. Disguising a condition with nicer, longer words doesn't change the fact that you still have the condition. Sorry.

(Note: Not all examples {e.g. black/white} are "conditions" or negative at all}

IMO, There's nothing wrong with most of the following conditions; they just warrant a euphemism because society can't accept reality. Many are unavoidable.
I just call 'em like I see em.

Nobody:
is old, they're elderly senior citizens.
is gay, they're homosexual.
is poor, they're in poverty.
is black, they're African American.
is white, they're Caucasian.
is fat, they're obese.
is a slut, they're promiscuous.
is crippled, they're handicapped.
is deaf, they're hearing impaired.
is blind, they're visually impaired.
is retarded, they're mentally challenged.
is short, they're vertically challenged.
is stupid, they're academically challenged.

I could go on.

by ~The Nameless One~ December 28, 2005

Double Take

When you do a once over on somebody, but something about them (male in a dress, purple hair, somebody looks like somebody you know in a crowd, etc.) caught your eye.

Often due to surprise at what you *thought* you saw, but you desire a second glance.

"Lose Control" by Missy Elliot. (It asked for an example. This is not my favorite song.)

"I’ve got a cute face
Chubby waist
Thick legs in shape
Rump shakin’ both ways
Make you do a double take"

by ~The Nameless One~ December 28, 2005

m15m

Movies in 15 minutes.

Usually done to make fun of a movie they didn't like. Often hilarious to read, especially if you've seen the movie.

by ~The Nameless One~ July 14, 2005

vanilla

Nature's favorite form of torture. It smells wonderful, but tastes FUCKING AWFUL by itself. This means you experience and desire great tastes, but don't actually get to satisfy your want. Quench your need. Make you happy. Oh no, you can only smell and wish.

(While some coffee is like this in the fact that it smells better than it tastes, vanilla smells better than any coffee I've ever smelled. Vanilla > You.)

It's also the most common ice cream flavor.

*Man first discovered vanilla*

Hmmm... this smell good. *drinks* ... *spits out* MAN, THIS TASTE LIKE SHIT!

Why, WHY does this odor torture me so?
The scent fills my nose with wonderful thoughts... yet my mouth lacks the same feeling. *cries*

by ~The Nameless One~ May 18, 2005

once over

Brief glance in their general direction, be it due to a distraction they caused (that you don't find important), they're just somebody in the way of what you're searching, or they irritate you and you flash them a look of disgust.

Doing a once over on a criminal is not enough to get a detailed description to a police detective.

You're in a crowded hallway. You're looking for your friend. You look to your left, than to your right. There's no sign of him/her. That's a once-over.

"So, did you get a good look at the criminal?"
"Well, not really. I mean... he was ... male. And... erm... flat chested."
"That's the best you can do? Reports of other victims say you glanced in the his direction before he had his mask on."
"I just did a once over, man!"
"... A what?"

So now I put it on UD. Now I can tell the next person who asks, to look it up.

by ~The Nameless One~ December 28, 2005

skillful

One who is said to be skillful, basically just has mad skillz.

Professor: He's a skillful guy.
L33t Student: What?
Professor: He's got mad skillz.
L33t Student: Oh.

by ~The Nameless One~ August 26, 2005

privacy

What was violated by the Patriot Act, and is now going to be violated in the near future by the National ID... that's right folks, you won't be able to hop on a plane without getting red lights shoved in your eye.

Read it and weep. America is becoming the place for advertisements, pornography, and a complete lack of privacy.

by ~The Nameless One~ June 10, 2005