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Definitions by wittyname

paranoid 

your state of mind when you hear the door bell ring and you suspect the police are outside but it's a girl scout trying to sell some fucking girl scout cookies
*Door Bell Ring*
Paranoid Person: Oh shit. I can hear the cops outside. *flushes eighth of weed down the toilet* *opens door*
Girl Scout: You wanna buy some Girl Scout cookies?
Paranoid Person: FML
paranoid by wittyname January 16, 2010
Mixing "fucking" into any phrase is like mixing alcohol with sleeping pills. It makes the effects way fucking stronger.
Kid 1: My fucking rat died
Kid 2: OMG!#@$%&!! Im so fucking sorry!
Kid 3: Good thing. This world needs less fucking rats
Kid 4: Jeeze Lou-eezz, Kid 3, can't you have some fucking compassion?
Kid 3: no
fucking by wittyname January 16, 2010
when you are stuck in a negative state of mind. you lose all motivation for school and having a social life is extremely difficult because when you are depressed you are boring to be around and your negative vibes are not wanted (at least thats how it feels to a depressed person). you feel like if your life was a youtube video, the majority of the comments on it would say "Fail"

you have to force smiles to prevent people from commenting about how fucking miserable and sad you look, and at the lunch table someone usually will comment: "Wow has anyone ever seen _________(fill in name of depressed person) laugh?"

you cant just decide to be happy and look on the positive side of things, you are stuck in this state of mind as long as you are in the same situation but it is very possible to get out of it in life changing events (like going to college, leaving a shitty small private school)
kid 1: hey look at that kid in the back of the room, he never smiles, i wonder what he's thinking about
kid 2:i think he's emo or something. hes so conceited i think he hates everyone
kid in the back: im not emo im depressed and i am the opposite of conceited
depressed by wittyname January 16, 2010

Masturbate 

The act that you will perform after reading this page of definitions.
Bob was horny, and being the Urban Dictionary-holic that he is, he looked up masturbate and every other word with the slightest sexual connotation on Urban Dictionary. He died of starvation.
Masturbate by wittyname January 16, 2010

failing at life 

what your facebook status would say if it was representative of what you are currently doing
Sally is failing at life.

315 Likes.

(Sally has 315 friends on facebook)
failing at life by wittyname January 16, 2010

12/21/12 

the day everyone will shut the fuck up about the end of the world
Jill: Do you want to violently fuck me right before 12/21/12? It's the last day we'll see each other. OMG#@$%!!
Jack: You actually believe in that bullshit?
Jill: Yes.
Jack: *remembers jill's offer to violently fuck her* Ya i believe in the end of the world shit. *thinks " anything for some pussy" *
12/21/12 by wittyname January 16, 2010

biggie smalls 

Okay people. Admit to yourself, Biggie Smalls, aka Notorious BIG, or simply "biggy" is a motherfucking baller. Listen to his fucking awesome songs: Juicy and big poppa (just to name 2.)
verse three:

Super Nintendo, Sega Genesis
When I was dead broke, man I couldn't picture this
50 inch screen, money green leather sofa
Got two rides, a limousine with a chauffeur
Phone bill about two G's flat
No need to worry, my accountant handles that
And my whole crew is loungin'
Celebratin' every day, no more public housin'
Thinkin' back on my one-room shack
Now my mom pimps a Ac' with minks on her back
And she loves to show me off, of course
Smiles every time my face is up in The Source
We used to fuss when the landlord dissed us
No heat, wonder why Christmas missed us
Birthdays was the worst days
Now we sip champagne when we thirst-ay
Uh, damn right I like the life I live
'Cause I went from negative to positive

obviously, this motherfucker went from poor to motherfucking rich and he brags about it which i think is pretty motherfucking balling.

(maybe cause im drunk) but still. youve got to acknowledge his skill and style is damn flawless and is in your face like I got money bitch!
Biggie Smalls says" ivin' life without fear
Puttin' 5 karats in my baby girl's ears
Lunches, brunches, interviews by the pool
Considered a fool 'cause I dropped out of high school
Stereotypes of a black male misunderstood
And it's still all good "
rip this motherfucking legend. if you dont have respect for this motherfucker you can just kill yourself.
biggie smalls by wittyname January 16, 2010