von groovy's definitions

broken pickleball

This is someone or something that no one wants to play with or be around anymore.

Barney: "Mom, no one will come over to play with me or let me come over to play with them. This is terrible! I feel like a broken pickleball. What should I do?"
Mom: "Well, Barney you are not a broken pickleball. You are a wonderful boy. You are just what some people may call socially retarded. So, there's that and you are thirty-seven years old. Now get a freakin' life and get the hell outta this house!"

by von groovy June 22, 2024

oral compass

The means in which someone deceptively talks their way out of getting into any serious trouble for something wrong that they did. It is the inner lying ability that guides them to safety and it is not to be confused with the immoral compass.

Marco: Did you hear about Gabe? Last night at the party, he got caught in a closet with Misty by her boyfriend, Steel.
Paulo: Nightmare! Is he hospitalized? Or in the morgue? Steel is all 'roided out these days.
Marco: Nope. He's fine. He used his oral compass to talk himself to safety. He said they were looking for glowworms.
Paulo: Well, Steel is pretty dumb.

by von groovy June 11, 2017

adding an ie

Something people do when speaking in order to make something sound more cute and non-confrontational, yet tremendously annoying. (It's okay if your mom does it until you're 5.)

Shannon: I saw Hannah the other day when she was messing with her phone and asked her if she needed some helpie. She shot me a look like she would kill me! OMG!
Lori: Sounds like she needed a huggie. That's too baddie!
Lauren: STFU you 2! Maybe stop adding an ie and act like you are over 5. Now leave me alon "E!"

by von groovy June 21, 2017

No teeth beneath

This is a phrase that you tell someone when they say performing cunnilingus is gross. It's a retort suggesting there's no danger to doing it as there are no teeth involved.

Darryl: "Man, Antonio you gettin' in there with your mouth on her? She's been around and seems unclean."
Antonio: "She's clean and that's all gossip. Giving the kiss of bliss is another way I express my feelings for her. It brings us both pleasure. Besides, no teeth beneath so it's safer than necking. Ha! Don't be so all salad, now, lil' D"

by von groovy July 1, 2024

Tragic Chapstick

This is the term for fluids - tears that flow from the eyes down to the mouth. They help hydrate dried out lips from begging someone to not break up with you.

As Carmen continued to weep and beg for Aiden to not end things, her cracked and sore lips began to feel some comfort from the never-ending tears from her eyes. The only good thing for her that day was that her Tragic Chapstick made things a bit better.

by von groovy March 5, 2025

tantrumic

Acting like a lil' bitch when you don't get your way - displaying a tantrum

Kelly was so tantrumic when she had to wait in line for more than 3 minutes

by von groovy April 5, 2019

girl scout cookie selectivity

The quality of still being able to manage oneself with something one wishes to indulge in while this one thing is not readily available year round. One does not buy all the girl scout cookies one can. Instead one remains prudent and only buys what one will enjoy and in a timely manner. This can also simply be called self-discipline, but these cookies are a real test.

Despite having the desire to buy many different types and boxes so that she could ravenously devour them to the point of shame. Brenda employed her girl scout cookie selectivity and bought one box of four different types so that she may enjoy two cookies per day for a few months.

by von groovy July 31, 2024