von groovy's definitions

I couldn't stop the swimmers

The simultaneously unfortunate and wonderful feeling that is premature ejaculation

Randy: And then I got in there and it felt soooo sweeet!!
Wally: DUDE!!!
Randy: She looked me in the eye, whispered my name and I couldn't stop the swimmers!!!
Wally: You bitch! Control your jizz!

by von groovy April 13, 2019

postless

The act of not documenting an event that occurred which thereby erases it from history since it has not been posted. The quality of having not being posted.

Serge: Me and Tandy last night! Ooh la la!!
Leon: It did not happen, mang. Lies...
Serge: Yeah, it did. I saw her posting about it afterwards!
Leon: I just searched her history - nothing! Postless! She wants to forget about it - or did it even happen?

by von groovy June 6, 2017

harrier than bigfoot's balls

A situation that is tremendously complicated and almost impossible to fix.

Charlotte: Did you hear about Brent's little escapade?
Chantel: No. What's an escapade?
Charlotte: Doesn't matter. He got caught by Lilli with her mom!!
Chantel: OMG! LOL! STFU!
Charlotte: Talking his way out of that one will be harrier than bigfoot's balls!!

by von groovy July 22, 2017

skintoons

Skintoons are tattoos. You know, cartoons on the skin. Cartoons used to be things people enjoyed and now they can enjoy them on strangers' flesh.

Penelope had two sleeves of skintoons. She was a real hard one and the stories on her arms were as entertaining as her inability to tolerate posers.

by von groovy September 24, 2021

sieg smile

The grins that Nazis have when they're being racist and cocky

Adolph was truly wearing his sieg smile walking down the street until he was bitch slapped by some old Jewish ladies.

by von groovy April 13, 2019

Gay White Shark

This is a sub-type of male homosexual who is large, very pale, shaved, loves to bite, and enjoys sexual water sports.

Wyatt: "Hey, I heard that you've landed yourself the big one Stuart! You lucky bitch!"
Stuart: "Why yes I did! We are incredible together! You've got to get yourself out there in the seas of sleaze so that you can get away from the bears and twinks and onto your own Gay White Shark."
Wyatt: "One day I will, Stuart. I'm not a vanishing horizon you know."

by von groovy June 21, 2024

gravity gravy

this is what seeps out of a sexhole heading south

Just as Aaron's car started, Sarah began to feel the gravity gravy begin to migrate onto her sheets...

by von groovy September 14, 2019