von groovy's definitions

don't fucking touch me

A greeting you say when entering a room full of relatives over the holidays.

Grandma: "Look!! Connor is here!!"
Connor: " Don't fucking touch me!"

by von groovy June 9, 2019

chicken up pix

The way a "dude" with dyslexia would brag he was "picking up chicks" when his friends asked him what he did last night.

Steve: "Hey Ron! What were you up to last night?"
Ron: "Chicken up pix, man! Chicken up pix!!!"
Steve: "You're a liar, just a liar..."

by von groovy March 29, 2019

lessence

The lack of character or poor quality of a person when they are never able to be average or more than most people. It's pretty sad when someone is cursed with this.

Mark's lessence when it came to school and sports always meant he'd be picked last.

by von groovy May 11, 2019

mazel toss

The act of using a bagel stuffed with cream cheese and lox into the whole and masturbating with it and then exclaiming "Mazel Toss!!" while ejaculating. Various sexual fantasies can be fulfilled with using different types of bagels.

Simon: I thought I heard someone scream in pain and turned out it was just Saul. He was finishing a Mazel Toss when I walked in on him. Disgusting! He used the rest of my lox too.
Bernie: Nightmare! Was he using pumpernickel again? He likes 'em dark.
Simon: No, but it was a mini bagel. I think he like 'em young too.

by von groovy May 27, 2017

jacksnot

Another term for semen. It's the snot that is produced from jacking off.

Dez was freaked out as him mom came into his room just as finished rockin' it. He immediately put his hands covered in jacksnot behind his back hoping she would not want a goodnight hug.

by von groovy September 15, 2017

laughtime

This term applies to anytime you may be laughing in your life. It can be for moments or hours. I enjoy laughing so I am always trying to make my time laughtime. It can seen as a play upon lifetime

Benny: "I can't get over how bad my day has been."
Cory: "What the problem is? Have you forgotten to tell yourself jokes. Everyday is for laughtime, you miserable bastard."
Benny: "Yeah, that's right. I do have some knock knock jokes I can tell myself when I'm not crying. I'm such a mess!"
Cory: "Yes, you are. Now remind me what time are we robbing the liquor store?"

by von groovy August 25, 2024

hangass face

This is when someone has a face that just hangs there lookin' like a nasty ass. So atrocious no man will even fuck that face much less kiss and caress it.

Ernie was all wound up like a tomcat high on catnip with 30 females in heat in his alley. However, he lost all of his sexual drive when he saw her, who was known around town as hangass face. He just walked back to his car and vaped in disgust.

by von groovy August 15, 2024