pedofag

pedo: child; fag: cigarette (British slang)
Cigarettes made from bubble gum flavored tobacco, designed by tobacco companies to appeal to young children.

Tobacco executive: "Get 'em hooked on pedofags before they turn eleven and we've got 'em for life! (villainous snicker)"

by va1erio January 27, 2007

pedocide

An industrial chemical commonly applied to the lawns of retirement communities to inhibit depredations by other people's grandchildren.

"There's a Big Wheel parked on the lawn, George. Better put down some more pedocide."

by va1erio January 27, 2007

pedometer

A scientific instrument for measuring the degree of a person's sexual attraction to children.

"Applicants whose pedometer scores are greater than 25% are not approved for the position of Scoutmaster."

by va1erio December 14, 2008

pedofile

(pedo=child, file=file) A tool used by ambitious parents to sharpen their dull-witted offspring.

"You failed algebra again? Fetch me the pedofile!"

by va1erio January 27, 2007