uncle kurtie's definitions

HEY MOE

It's when you sling the cock back and forth across your significant others' face in a kind of slapping motion 4-5 times, then you take the hardwood and poke them in either eye while yelling "hey moe". Then get the hell out of there!

Chuck: Hey David, are you keepin' yer ol' lady in line?
Dave: Well, she started to act up, so I whipped out the lumber and gave her the "hey moe" and that fixed the problem!

by Uncle Kurtie April 12, 2007

dispinchloafia

You know when you're on the shitter, really gruntin' one out, spend 20 minutes hammerin' the commode, and when you've finished, there's only two little knobs of doo in the bowl.

Dude, what took so long?

Sorry man, I have a bad case of "dispinchloafia" today.

by Uncle Kurtie November 16, 2006

SKIM MILK TITTIES

Titties that look like two fried eggs nailed to a 2x4. More commonly referred to as " banana titties ". Generally found on women that you wouldn't fuck on a bet.

We were at the party, she took off her shirt and scared the shit out of the whole crowd with her gnarly skim milk titties.

by uncle kurtie November 14, 2006

tarantuknuckle

Its when the labia of your woman covers the panocha completely, it looks like the exposed fangs of the Congo Bird spider ( tarantula ). Looks very inviting until she sinks the fangs in to fuck your life to pieces.

Man, she has the greatest lookin tarantuknuckle I've ever seen, I hope it eats my dong.

by uncle kurtie December 29, 2006

limberger lumber

When a guy doesn't bathe, causing his cheese coated piss pipe to smell like a haunch of limberger!

Dude, you should tell your brother to bathe, I can smell his limberger lumber from here.

by Uncle Kurtie October 16, 2006

THREE HAND MAGIC

Its when you're receiving a little head from your newest chick, you're kicked back in the reclining position. All the sudden you realize that this is the GREATEST blowjob ever. It feels like she has three hands wrapped on your junk. The balls are warm, the shaft is being massaged in two directions, it's like heaven for your package!

Dude, I was half asleep when she started, by the time she was done with the three hand magic, I blew like a buffalo!

by Uncle Kurtie June 20, 2007

boss hogans

Boss Hogans are simply put " perfect titties " You know, the right shape, the right nips, the right size, the right perk. Very hard to find, especially in a matched set.

Whoa Chuck, look at those Boss Hogans! They're awesome! Tell your little sister to get some new shirts, she's grown since last summer!

by Uncle Kurtie May 31, 2007