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uncle kurtie's definitions

mumms

It's when the chick is hot, but you question her hygiene!! You dont want her rubbing her dirty dick beaters on your junk. Instead you allow her to cup her hands and play catcher for your load of man milk. When you finish, you tell her to wash up and get the fuck out.
Chuck, she was so smelly, I could only let her do the mumms. Tell your sister to take a bath!
by Uncle Kurtie June 22, 2007
mugGet the mummsmug.

tampoons

Feminine protection for fat ass broads. It looks like a swamp cat-tail on steriods. Used specifically to "Tampoon" a fat bitch on her period.
That beast won't take a maxi-pad, she needs tampoons!
by Uncle Kurtie November 13, 2006
mugGet the tampoonsmug.

THREE HAND MAGIC

Its when you're receiving a little head from your newest chick, you're kicked back in the reclining position. All the sudden you realize that this is the GREATEST blowjob ever. It feels like she has three hands wrapped on your junk. The balls are warm, the shaft is being massaged in two directions, it's like heaven for your package!
Dude, I was half asleep when she started, by the time she was done with the three hand magic, I blew like a buffalo!
by Uncle Kurtie June 20, 2007
mugGet the THREE HAND MAGICmug.

ddt

A broad who is best described as a " Dirty, Dirty Tramp". She will hop on anything remotely phallic in shape, and generally is so eager that she has spooge stains on her t-shirt.
Man, that 'ho is such a ddt, looks like I'm gonna be the fourth one tonite!
by Uncle Kurtie November 9, 2006
mugGet the ddtmug.

dispinchloafia

You know when you're on the shitter, really gruntin' one out, spend 20 minutes hammerin' the commode, and when you've finished, there's only two little knobs of doo in the bowl.
Dude, what took so long?

Sorry man, I have a bad case of "dispinchloafia" today.
by Uncle Kurtie November 16, 2006
mugGet the dispinchloafiamug.

SKIM MILK TITTIES

Titties that look like two fried eggs nailed to a 2x4. More commonly referred to as " banana titties ". Generally found on women that you wouldn't fuck on a bet.
We were at the party, she took off her shirt and scared the shit out of the whole crowd with her gnarly skim milk titties.
by uncle kurtie November 14, 2006
mugGet the SKIM MILK TITTIESmug.

limberger lumber

When a guy doesn't bathe, causing his cheese coated piss pipe to smell like a haunch of limberger!
Dude, you should tell your brother to bathe, I can smell his limberger lumber from here.
by Uncle Kurtie October 16, 2006
mugGet the limberger lumbermug.

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