umpirestrikesback's definitions

Bouncer

In Cricket, a short pitched ball which is aimed at the batsman's head

The batsman was shaken by a nasty blow to the head from a bouncer

by umpirestrikesback May 19, 2005

sticky wicket

A term that aludes to a situation in which a person is in trouble. Comes from cricket where on uncovered wickets after a short rainfall a pitch could dry into a 'sticky' which could make it extremely difficult to play on as the ball would be going anywhere. Not anything to do with sex R.munkey. Where the fuck you from?

Its a bit of a sticky wicket, my girlfriend and my wife just met up at the pregnancy clinic...

by umpirestrikesback April 1, 2005

King Pair

In cricket, to get out for two golden ducks in the two innings of one match, as opposed to a pair which is two ducks in the two innings. Can only occur in Five, Four or Three day matches in which both teams bat twice

Ever been dismissed for a King Pair?

by umpirestrikesback June 29, 2005

Pope mobile

Like the Batmobile, but adhearing to the speed limits

Bless this drive by, and I will take fries with that

by umpirestrikesback July 2, 2005

GM

Gunn and Moore, an English Cricket Bat manufacturing company, producing quality international standard bats

Man 1: You getting a new bat?
Man 2: Yeah, either a GM Purist or a Maxi
Man 1: Good bats

by umpirestrikesback December 28, 2005

Sledging

Sledging or "Mental Disintergration" as it is also known is the tactic of talking to players on the opposition side (particularily batsmen, as taking on a whole team in the field is never a good idea) with the objective of destroying either their concentration or their confidence/self esteem. Sledging is practised in a large way by the Australian Cricket Team, but most International teams partake in sledging. Sledging can be merely an opposition player talking constantly to the batsman, but has mostly become known as players swearing and questioning their lineage.

Glenn McGrath to Eddie Brandes
GM: "Oi Brandes why are you so fat?"
EB: "Because everytime I shag your wife she gives me a biscuit"

Andrew Flintoff to Tino Best (after Best had attempted a slog sweep towards the pavilion)
AF: "Mind those windows Tino"

Rod Marsh to Ian Botham
RM: "So how's your wife and my kids?"

by umpirestrikesback May 17, 2005

Backyard Cricket

Intro: Also known as Backgarden Cricket in the UK, this is an informal game of cricket played in the confines of your green space out back.

Equipment: A cricket bat, several tennis balls (because you always lose tennis balls) and set of stumps or a substitute such as a bin.

Number of Players: Depends on size of garden/yard

Rules: Backyard Cricket uses mostly the same rules as normal cricket but some notable exceptions, which can be used as desired:
-No LBW: Essential for stability as backyard cricket has no umpires. Although if you like massive fights you might want to keep it in
-Six and Out: Hit it over the fence and you're out. And you must fetch the ball
-First ball rule: This means you can't get out first ball. No idea why, maybe some people just can't take goldies
-Electric Keeper: This is where any edges to the keeper/slip area are automatically out, as no one can be arsed to stand there
-One Hand One Bounce: A fielder can catch a batsman with one hand after the ball has bounced once and the batsman will be out. Good if fielders are few in number
-Electric Wickets: If there is only one batsman at any one time, this rules means they can be run out at either end no matter which end they are running to
-Test Match: Means both teams get two innings, used when both teams are crap and so innings will not last long

Man: Fancy a game of Backyard Cricket
Man 2: Sure but no One Hand One Bounce that really annoys me

by umpirestrikesback July 18, 2005