Toffees

Endearing nickname for Everton football club. Coined in 19th century when ladies would sell toffees at the home matches. Modern equivalent to this toffee is the black and white striped Everton Mint

Who are the Toffees playing this weekend?

by ud40 February 23, 2005

As nissed as a pewt

Spoonerism variation of As pissed as a newt implying not only that the afflicted person cannot walk straight, but also that they cannot talk straight!

Fred's as nissed as a pewt, he's practically legless.

by ud40 March 11, 2005

Chelsea Tractor

Any expensive 4x4 that is driven in an urban environment as a status symbol (typically for the school run) and will never be driven off-road.

Look, that Chelsea Tractor nearly flattened that kid!

by ud40 February 23, 2005

chelsea fc

Proof that money can buy you anything, including the Premiership title, provided you have enough of it to throw around. See also Chelski.

If we had a tenth as much cash to spend as Chelsea FC, we'd be playing in Europe.

by ud40 February 23, 2005

Lampard

Wide of the mark; Hopelessly off target; A serious disappointment.

After Chelsea FC goalless football player Frank Lampard who was the most inaccurate player in the 2006 FIFA World Cup, with 24 shots of which only 11 were on target and 0 (that's ZERO) found the back of the net, including his penalty kick against Portugal in the quarter final.

Antonym: zidane

He shoots....... Goal kick...... What a Lampard.

That's the second Lampard he's kicked today.

Tiger Woods just hit the worst Lampard of his career, his ball is in the crowd.

If he carries on bowling Lampards like that, there'll be more Extras than Runs on the score sheet.

Keep out of the way, he's pissed as a newt, and his arrows are all Lampards.

by ud40 September 06, 2008