Definitions by tommo

cuntybollocks 

a jacko, scab, scavenger.... the bloke with deep pockets and short arms who miraculously dissappears when its his round.....

wheres cuntybollocks? i wanna drink

cuntybollocks by tommo April 13, 2004

Cock-yoghurt 

Noun: Semen

I was on my way into the peep-show booth, when I slipped over and landed face-first in a pool of cock-yoghurt.

They really ought to have a cleaner in there between occupants.

Cock-yoghurt by Tommo February 24, 2004

Firley 

One who can't stand pikeys.

After the good villagers of Firle, Sussex, who achieved notoriety by burning a caravan containing effigies of gypsies during their 2003 firework show.

I don't think this'd be a good driveway to resurface, Pat. I can feel it in me bones there's a Firley livin' here, so there is, to be sure.

Firley by Tommo February 18, 2004

Pit bull chewing a wasp 

One, usually of the female variety, who ain't good-lookin.

"Here Davro, what's the matter with yer missus. She looks like a pit bull chewing a wasp!"

"Nah, she just fell out of the ugly tree!"

Pit bull chewing a wasp by Tommo September 2, 2003

ugly tree

The source where humdingers are made.

"Davro, has yer missus fallen out the ugly tree?"

ugly tree by Tommo September 1, 2003

growling at the badger 

to conduct oral sex on a female

"What were you doing there? It smells, and looks like a badly packed kebab!"

"I was growling at the badger."

growling at the badger by Tommo August 28, 2003

townie 

A townie is an English word for a person who:
1. Uses the phrase "Ya Mum" as an insult
2. Thinks that it is cool/hard to use various words beginning with F and S
3. Listens to "Phat Beats" - Blazin Squad, So Solid Crew, Jay-Z (or whatever) etc.
4. Drives a Car such as a Vauxhall Nova or Ford Escort or similar which has A body kit, lowerred suspension, large exhaust, and a huge Subwoofer in the boot to make sure that everyone can hear their "Phat Beats"
5. Has a stupid nickname such as "Jubba" or "Staples"
6. Steals mobile phones
7. Wears "Bling Threads"
8. Walks in a stupid, exaggerated way
9. Has a fundamental disability to pronounce the letter "H"
10. Smokes all the time whilst doing the above
11. Is challenged by a lack of immagination
12. Has a Helly Hansen "Puffer Jacket"
13. Has gelled blonde (dyed) hair

townie by Tommo August 4, 2003