the jax's definitions

Jenna Fischer Syndrome

When a man gives hints, requests, orders, or complains for women in his home and work life to dress like a secretary, such as Jenna Fischers character on hit TV Show "The Office". The reason for this is for the man to find it attractive yet he is merely a voyeur and it rarely leads to sex.

In some cases it can lead to break ups, seperations, and divorces in home life situations where a wife a girlfriend will continuely not comply with the mans request. In a work environment, it can also lead to sexual harrassment.

My boss at work has made it mandatory that all women in the office dress professionally requiring a professional secretary type clothing. We think he has Jenna Fischer Syndrome as I know he is obsessed with "The Office" and has a picture of her on his wall. This ain't the Micheal Scott Paper Company ya know!

by The Jax April 26, 2009

Hubert Denied

When an adolescent girl who goes to private or catholic school is required to wear tights, pantyhose, or knee socks as part of their school uniform and wears socks under them when dressed for school.

This term originated because girls that attend St Hubert Catholic High School For Girls in Philadelphia would wear Adidas Sandals going to and from school where guys would look at their feet hoping to see their toes when infact they were wearing socks and were denied that privilege. This term is now widely used by guys in the Philadelphia and Southern NJ area.

Dude I was at Dunkin Donuts at Cottman and Torresdale this morning picking up some breakfast on my way to work. All these girls came in from that school across the street and they were wearing adidas sandals. I wanted to see their feet but when I looked down I was Hubert Denied because those bitches were wearing socks under their tights. What the hell is that about??

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Unwanted Sexual Abuse Statement

When a man or woman verbally informs a person or a group of people that he or she would not enjoy nor want to have non-consensual sexual intercourse with anyone.

I was at a party with mostly guys. This hot bitch came in wearing a strappy top with no bra and such a shirt skirt you could see her ass. When all the guys tried to get with her, she pulled an Unwanted Sexual Abuse Statement. She's a big tease and no one appreciates it.

by The Jax February 23, 2009

Hurricane Incest Trick

When you have a major hurricane hitting your area and all your family and extended family gets together in someone's house to take refuge from the storm within the storm area. Usually a Category 2 hurricane or above. A male finds a female family member he finds attractive, usually an adolescent, and tricks her into thinking they will not make it out alive when in reality, the chance of them losing their life in the hurricane is very minimal.

The male then leads the female to a secluded place in the shelter and has consensual sex with her. Afterwards, the hurricane is over and everything is fine and the female is so embarrassed she doesn't tell anyone about the event.

Hurricane Katrina was coming so my entire family and extended family went over my grandmother's house for shelter.

When the hurricane hit, the walls were shaking and my younger cousin was scared. I took her in the other room. It was just me and her and got away with a Hurricane Incest Trick.

Afterwards, there was so much damage and she was so happy we were alive she totally forgot I screwed her brains out.

by The Jax October 13, 2008

Devine Offering Position

When a barefoot but clothed girl between ages 11 and 25 with pretty feet and legs puts herself in a non-sexual position, either sitting on the floor or in a chair, where she puts her feet up, bringing her knees to her chest and her heels to her butt, in a way that it looks like she is presenting her feet to another male. Almost 100% of girls who put themelves in this position are doing so to feel comfortable. Most male who have feet and leg fetishes for younger girls called this position by this name and find it arousing.

I was over a friend's house. After dinner we sat on the floor with his family and talked. My friend's younger sister was barefoot and put herself in a Devine Offering Position. She had no idea I was turned on and I wanted to play with her feet so bad!

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Tween Wet White T-shirt Trick

When an older perverted guy who knows better, runs into a girl between 9 and 12 in a bathing suit wearing a white t-shirt over it, and the guy has the disturbing urge to want to see the girls under developed, yet already growing breasts. The trick involves tricking the girl into taking her bathing suit top off with her shirt on, claiming she can not do it. Then when she does it, the guy squirts her t-shirt with water. Most of the time, the girl is gullible enough to think he is just playing around. Sometimes, the girl catches on and isn't very happy about it. In rare cases, the police are called and the guy has a lot of explaining to do.

I was on the beach with my 11 y/o nieces friend. She was wearing a white t-shirt over her bathing suit. I knew it was wrong but I had a water gun and I attempted the Tween Wet White T-shirt Trick. She caught on with what I was doing after the fact and she didn't appreciate it. Neither did her parents or my niece........ or the cop........ or the judge.

by The Jax May 3, 2007

Ongoing Payroll Issue

When an individual that works for an employer, who hasn't been fired and is still employed, stops recieving a paycheck due to a payroll screw up. Everytime the individual attempts to follow up on the problem, the person in charge of payroll will call it by that name. Usually, due to the high demands and deadlines in any given payroll department, the probability of the problem being corrected is very low unless a very high level supervisor has become involved. The problem can last for weeks, even months, forcing the individual to get another job or quit all together. Usually getting denied unemployment for quiting. In rare cases, the individual, who quits, will recieve a W-2 form at the end of the year showing all wages, yet a large amount of those wages still have not been paid.

1) I went to pick up my paycheck Friday and my boss did not have it when they came. Payroll was closed and I had to wait till Monday. I called them on Monday and they told me that I should have been paid and that there was an Ongoing Payroll Issue and that it would work itself out shortly. 16 weeks later, I got another job and sued the bastards!

by The Jax May 2, 2007