the jax's definitions

Jewishophile

When a non-jewish male of adult age having no knowledge of the jewish religion is aroused and attracted to Jewish adolescent women that are dressed up and wear pantyhose.

I was at the Palisades Center Mall on Sunday and I seen Phil. I said hello and asked him what brought him to the mall today. He said "Well every Sunday the hot jewish teens come out of the woodwork and come to shop at this mall all dressed up because they just came from temple and find that hot". So I said, "Ok well um aren't you almost 30, Phil?". He replied, "I look but don't touch. Then I remember what I see and go home and screw the brains out of my ugly girlfriend with the lights off".

Phil is such a Jewishophile!

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Hanukkah Poverty Selfgift

When a poor Jewish family celebrates Hanukkah yet does not have any money to provide gifts for each other. In this instance a selfgift is proclaimed, allowing another member of their immediate family to have consensual heterosexual sexual intercourse with them, thus satisfying the gift requirement. Sometimes father and daughter or brother and sister selfgifts will be given in this instance as long as both gifters are at least adolescent age. In the case that there are pre-adolescents in the family, the father and mother have sexual intercourse in front of their children, thus gifting to them to a show of lovemaking.

My mom and dad lost their jobs due to downsizing and the economy is terrible. This Hanukkah we did not have any money to buy gifts for each other. My sister offered a Hanukkah Poverty Selfgift. It wasn't right but she offered so I screwed her brains out. My parents were understanding of the situation since she didn't have a gift. I will never tell the guys in school about it though.

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Golden Toes

When a girl or woman has feet where her bone structure, skin tone, nail placement, and skin texture are so close to perfect that a majority of people who are attracted to female feet will consider her feet more attractive then anything else they ever seen.

A girl I work with is always playing with her shoes under her desk. One day I walked by and she had them off. I couldn't help but stop and look. I could not believe she had Golden Toes. I have never seen feet so beautiful. Some girls have busted feet or they are so-so. But her feet are so amazing.

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Flip Flop Delco Cock Bitch

When a Caucasian girl or girls between the ages of 11 and 19 wearing flips flops, softee shorts, and a top that reveals a lot of cleavage, walk the streets by themselves or with friends during all hours of the days and night in Delaware County, Pennsylvania. These girls have a knack for being street smart and will punch you in the face if you stop and try and mack it to them. Plus they usually smoke cigarettes and are in favor of rap music and African American men. Known for abusing drugs over other friends houses, getting drunk, and mooching off of others for food and free rides in exchange for sexual favors.

I was driving down Chester Pike (Rt 13) in Norwood and seen that Flip Flop Delco Cock Bitch walking with her friends. I don't want any of that. She would have the biggest attitude and would probably steal all my money when I am not looking.

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Hubert Denied

When an adolescent girl who goes to private or catholic school is required to wear tights, pantyhose, or knee socks as part of their school uniform and wears socks under them when dressed for school.

This term originated because girls that attend St Hubert Catholic High School For Girls in Philadelphia would wear Adidas Sandals going to and from school where guys would look at their feet hoping to see their toes when infact they were wearing socks and were denied that privilege. This term is now widely used by guys in the Philadelphia and Southern NJ area.

Dude I was at Dunkin Donuts at Cottman and Torresdale this morning picking up some breakfast on my way to work. All these girls came in from that school across the street and they were wearing adidas sandals. I wanted to see their feet but when I looked down I was Hubert Denied because those bitches were wearing socks under their tights. What the hell is that about??

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Workers Comp Punk'd

When a client of a workers comp attorney is rightfully injured from his job yet the insurance company stops sending him checks claiming there is an overpayment. After several months of not receiving check and not allowed to work, the client goes broke. This situation is called by this name because the attorney fooled the client into thinking they were handling the matter and that the client will be getting a check. When the client runs out of money, the attorney shows little remorse on the matter nor suggests any alternatives other then go apply for welfare.

I was on workers comp and they stopped sending me check claiming they overpaid me. Two months went by and I still didn't have a check. I got thrown out of my apartment and I had to turn in the plates on my car because I couldn't pay my car insurance. I totally got Workers Comp Punk'd !!!

by The Jax August 7, 2009

Jenna Fischer Syndrome

When a man gives hints, requests, orders, or complains for women in his home and work life to dress like a secretary, such as Jenna Fischers character on hit TV Show "The Office". The reason for this is for the man to find it attractive yet he is merely a voyeur and it rarely leads to sex.

In some cases it can lead to break ups, seperations, and divorces in home life situations where a wife a girlfriend will continuely not comply with the mans request. In a work environment, it can also lead to sexual harrassment.

My boss at work has made it mandatory that all women in the office dress professionally requiring a professional secretary type clothing. We think he has Jenna Fischer Syndrome as I know he is obsessed with "The Office" and has a picture of her on his wall. This ain't the Micheal Scott Paper Company ya know!

by The Jax April 26, 2009