the jax's definitions

Devine Offering Position

When a barefoot but clothed girl between ages 11 and 25 with pretty feet and legs puts herself in a non-sexual position, either sitting on the floor or in a chair, where she puts her feet up, bringing her knees to her chest and her heels to her butt, in a way that it looks like she is presenting her feet to another male. Almost 100% of girls who put themelves in this position are doing so to feel comfortable. Most male who have feet and leg fetishes for younger girls called this position by this name and find it arousing.

I was over a friend's house. After dinner we sat on the floor with his family and talked. My friend's younger sister was barefoot and put herself in a Devine Offering Position. She had no idea I was turned on and I wanted to play with her feet so bad!

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Jewishophile

When a non-jewish male of adult age having no knowledge of the jewish religion is aroused and attracted to Jewish adolescent women that are dressed up and wear pantyhose.

I was at the Palisades Center Mall on Sunday and I seen Phil. I said hello and asked him what brought him to the mall today. He said "Well every Sunday the hot jewish teens come out of the woodwork and come to shop at this mall all dressed up because they just came from temple and find that hot". So I said, "Ok well um aren't you almost 30, Phil?". He replied, "I look but don't touch. Then I remember what I see and go home and screw the brains out of my ugly girlfriend with the lights off".

Phil is such a Jewishophile!

by The Jax August 5, 2009

Ongoing Payroll Issue

When an individual that works for an employer, who hasn't been fired and is still employed, stops recieving a paycheck due to a payroll screw up. Everytime the individual attempts to follow up on the problem, the person in charge of payroll will call it by that name. Usually, due to the high demands and deadlines in any given payroll department, the probability of the problem being corrected is very low unless a very high level supervisor has become involved. The problem can last for weeks, even months, forcing the individual to get another job or quit all together. Usually getting denied unemployment for quiting. In rare cases, the individual, who quits, will recieve a W-2 form at the end of the year showing all wages, yet a large amount of those wages still have not been paid.

1) I went to pick up my paycheck Friday and my boss did not have it when they came. Payroll was closed and I had to wait till Monday. I called them on Monday and they told me that I should have been paid and that there was an Ongoing Payroll Issue and that it would work itself out shortly. 16 weeks later, I got another job and sued the bastards!

by The Jax May 2, 2007

Jenna Fischer Syndrome

When a man gives hints, requests, orders, or complains for women in his home and work life to dress like a secretary, such as Jenna Fischers character on hit TV Show "The Office". The reason for this is for the man to find it attractive yet he is merely a voyeur and it rarely leads to sex.

In some cases it can lead to break ups, seperations, and divorces in home life situations where a wife a girlfriend will continuely not comply with the mans request. In a work environment, it can also lead to sexual harrassment.

My boss at work has made it mandatory that all women in the office dress professionally requiring a professional secretary type clothing. We think he has Jenna Fischer Syndrome as I know he is obsessed with "The Office" and has a picture of her on his wall. This ain't the Micheal Scott Paper Company ya know!

by The Jax April 26, 2009

Cock Anger

When a male in private is masturbating and other people occupying the same residence or workplace are walking around and talking so loudly the person masturbating can hear them and that person is unable to obtain an orgasm successfully. Because of this the penis starts to get sore, they get blue balls, their blood presure and heart rate raises, and they get very extremely angry and frustrated.

Sometimes responsible for workplace beatings and murders.

I was in the bathroom masturbating and I got Cock Anger cuz my mom kept walking around and talking on the phone. She needs to plant her ass in a chair and get off the phone!

by The Jax April 19, 2007

Sock Mitzvah

During a BarMitzvah or BatMitzvah, when the majority of adolescent girls attending that are wearing pantyhose, stockings, tights, or are barefoot take off their shoes and put on socks for the remainder of the event. This can come to quite a disappointment to men twenty years old or older who find it attractive and arousing to view the feet of adolescent girls. Out of disappointment and sometimes anger, a man of this nature may describe this event as a "Sock Mitzvah" when conversating to others.

"I was so happy to be invited to my friend's little cousin's BatMitzvah so I could see all the girls prancing around in their stockings and barefeet without shoes on. But his aunt is a real bitch and told all the girls to bring socks. So during the reception, the event became a Sock Mitzvah and I left early because I was really pissed off!"

by The Jax January 17, 2007

Mario Bros Perenium Double Dip Presentation

When a white male takes a black magic marker and writes "PERENIUM" between his legs on his perenium. Staring just below his ballsack and ending the word near his anus. The male then dresses up like Mario from the Nintendo's Mario Bros.

After that, the male will go to a sporting event featuring small to young children, such as PAL soccer or baseball. During a bad call by an umpire or referee, the male gets up and takes off his hat. He then waves his hat in the air and starts screaming "Yo !!!" to get everyone's attention. When a large majority then look at the male, usually consisting of the spectators and the children playing the game, the male drops his red overalls and his underwear and then lifts his leg. He points to his perenium with one hand and lifts his ballsack with the other hand while yelling "Perenium, Perenium, duh duh duh". Just as the onlookers start to show discust, the male the sticks the pointing finger into his rectum, pulls it out, then puts it in his mouth. The male then repeats it several times. After that, the male alternates between both until most likely, someone noticing this event takes matters into their own hands. Usually a parent.

I was bored so I dressed up like Mario and went to a local soccer game at the school and performed a Mario Bros Perenium Double Dip Presentation. After I was badly beaten, I was arrested and I need a lawyer.

by The Jax May 20, 2007