The channel with the best programming and the worst marketing. A network that acquires and produces many great TV franchise, and makes commercials to make it all look like shit.
The owners are already rich of course. But unlike other network execs, they say fuck quality, so long as they keep there couch potato market.
---Originals---
South Park: Best on the channel, for obvious reasons.
Chappelle Show: Most original sketch comedy show ever, by Neal Brennan and Dave Chappelle(also the best stand-up act I have seen).
Crank Yankers: Some very original prank calls, great effect added by puppets` actions sometimes. Awesome guests that people who know anything about stand-up would recognize.
Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Great newscaster, originally from MTV News. Always known for sense of humor added to reports, still awesome, but now its a whole half-hour! Even a decent source of news, if you are smart enough to see what the actuall facts were(as it is fact-based)
The Critic: Highly underaprecciated classic. Anything with John Lovitz is awesome(ie. Rat Race, The Wedding Singer)
Insomniac: Dave Attell, great comic. Good at stand up, great talent for getting wasted. Jason rules too.
Plus, my NYC friend ran into them one night in Brooklyn. Lucky bastard.
Drawn Together:....
"The 1st animated reality show"? What kind of bullshit is that?
Duckman: great. Simple but deep humor. Just watch it.
Kid Notorious: I don`t know shit about Robert Evans, except that he rules.
The Man Show: good as South Park, til they put those new guys on.
Reno 911: #2 show on the network. Awesome shit. Great parody of Nevada if you have ever been there.
---Acquired Programs---
Kids in the Hall- Canada trying to be Monty Python. No chance in hell, but the Kids still rule.
that`s right, Comedy Central did not make it. How stupid can you be to not know it`s Canadian? They even talk about it on the show! Hey morons like Fotodevoto, CC can`t make new episodes of a Canadian show, can they?
Mad TV: sucks as, why did Comedy Central actually pay Fox for this piece of crap
Saturday Night Live: great show, but it sometimes seems like Comedy Central handpicks the worst episodes
Dilbert: ok to read in the paper for 30 seconds, not worth watching on TV for 30 minutes.
Whose Line is it Anyway: Best improv show there is, done long before Dana Carvey`s version on ABC went mainstream thanks to Brady.
Trigger Happy TV: The best show they ever bought from BBC, even better than Whose Line. When I get back to the States, I am SO filming something like this.
thats all i can think of.
if i left anything out, my memory probably blocked it out for unrectifiable suctitude.
The owners are already rich of course. But unlike other network execs, they say fuck quality, so long as they keep there couch potato market.
---Originals---
South Park: Best on the channel, for obvious reasons.
Chappelle Show: Most original sketch comedy show ever, by Neal Brennan and Dave Chappelle(also the best stand-up act I have seen).
Crank Yankers: Some very original prank calls, great effect added by puppets` actions sometimes. Awesome guests that people who know anything about stand-up would recognize.
Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Great newscaster, originally from MTV News. Always known for sense of humor added to reports, still awesome, but now its a whole half-hour! Even a decent source of news, if you are smart enough to see what the actuall facts were(as it is fact-based)
The Critic: Highly underaprecciated classic. Anything with John Lovitz is awesome(ie. Rat Race, The Wedding Singer)
Insomniac: Dave Attell, great comic. Good at stand up, great talent for getting wasted. Jason rules too.
Plus, my NYC friend ran into them one night in Brooklyn. Lucky bastard.
Drawn Together:....
"The 1st animated reality show"? What kind of bullshit is that?
Duckman: great. Simple but deep humor. Just watch it.
Kid Notorious: I don`t know shit about Robert Evans, except that he rules.
The Man Show: good as South Park, til they put those new guys on.
Reno 911: #2 show on the network. Awesome shit. Great parody of Nevada if you have ever been there.
---Acquired Programs---
Kids in the Hall- Canada trying to be Monty Python. No chance in hell, but the Kids still rule.
that`s right, Comedy Central did not make it. How stupid can you be to not know it`s Canadian? They even talk about it on the show! Hey morons like Fotodevoto, CC can`t make new episodes of a Canadian show, can they?
Mad TV: sucks as, why did Comedy Central actually pay Fox for this piece of crap
Saturday Night Live: great show, but it sometimes seems like Comedy Central handpicks the worst episodes
Dilbert: ok to read in the paper for 30 seconds, not worth watching on TV for 30 minutes.
Whose Line is it Anyway: Best improv show there is, done long before Dana Carvey`s version on ABC went mainstream thanks to Brady.
Trigger Happy TV: The best show they ever bought from BBC, even better than Whose Line. When I get back to the States, I am SO filming something like this.
thats all i can think of.
if i left anything out, my memory probably blocked it out for unrectifiable suctitude.
Bill Maher: We have a great new line-up for next quarter. It`s our best variety yet, we have shows that we can market to all Americans. What do you think?
Marketing Chief: You mean expand out market to all ages, races, occupations, and both genders? No. Marketing to everyone would be too obvious. What do you say we make a depressingly shallow marketing campaign, so that we can limit our market to unemployed white catholic males between 25-30 years old?
Maher: What? I gotta get to the country club, get in a few games, little rushed. What are you proposing, in 3 words?
Chief: Market like retards.
Maher: Sounds like a plan!
Chief: Right on it. As any bussinessman knows, its best to limit your market as much as possible and make your product sound worthless.
Maher: Will it leave me more time for golf?
Chief: Sure, why not?
Maher: I like your thinking! Get right on that. I`m out, late for my caviar at the country club!
Marketing Chief: You mean expand out market to all ages, races, occupations, and both genders? No. Marketing to everyone would be too obvious. What do you say we make a depressingly shallow marketing campaign, so that we can limit our market to unemployed white catholic males between 25-30 years old?
Maher: What? I gotta get to the country club, get in a few games, little rushed. What are you proposing, in 3 words?
Chief: Market like retards.
Maher: Sounds like a plan!
Chief: Right on it. As any bussinessman knows, its best to limit your market as much as possible and make your product sound worthless.
Maher: Will it leave me more time for golf?
Chief: Sure, why not?
Maher: I like your thinking! Get right on that. I`m out, late for my caviar at the country club!
by tanukisanyo May 21, 2005
Jack: Brett was doing real good with that girl over their til she leaned in on him. Then she suddenly got up and ran away.
Ace: Probably the Axe Defect.
Ace: Probably the Axe Defect.
by tanukisanyo June 05, 2005
1.The best martial arts instructor ever!
Close personal friend of The King(Bruce Campbell) and the Master(Ving Rhames.
2.When Gai Maitou is not instucting the best martial arts ever or being friends with the King and the Master, he is one of the best characters in Naruto manga and anime.
He totally made Rock Lee who is today by taking him under his wing, giving him confidence, teaching him the importance of youth, and teaching him to kick serious ass, using only taijutsus(attacks that use physical energy istead of chakura).
He also turned Rock Lee into his clone.
His main moral code is that you must do everything within your power to protect any people who are important to you.
see also Gai Sensei
Close personal friend of The King(Bruce Campbell) and the Master(Ving Rhames.
2.When Gai Maitou is not instucting the best martial arts ever or being friends with the King and the Master, he is one of the best characters in Naruto manga and anime.
He totally made Rock Lee who is today by taking him under his wing, giving him confidence, teaching him the importance of youth, and teaching him to kick serious ass, using only taijutsus(attacks that use physical energy istead of chakura).
He also turned Rock Lee into his clone.
His main moral code is that you must do everything within your power to protect any people who are important to you.
see also Gai Sensei
1.Me: Today, my house.
Marathon of awexome.
Naruto, Evil Dead 2, Dawn of the Dead, then fireworks. BYOB.
2.Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Marathon of awexome.
Naruto, Evil Dead 2, Dawn of the Dead, then fireworks. BYOB.
2.Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
by tanukisanyo May 09, 2005
A democrat or political left-winger(2 different things) who tends to be subjective in their political views. Political subjectiveness is ok to some degree, but I think that some people tend to get carried away or be unrealistic. These types are somewhat of sore to American society, but on the other hand help balance out crazy redneck or bureaucrat conservatives. Both could be done without in the end because of their serious bias on everything that ever happens.
There are few types of people who fall into this group:
1.Activists-the troublemakers who are
violent and crazy but try to cover up by pretending that their motives are moral.
2:Stoners-people who have taken a lot of time to think through where they stand politically, and realize that violence is an ineffective way to reach their goal, even if the establishment is refusing to listen to them. These people think Bush is a terrible president, and give logical reasons.
3:Metalheads-people who have taken a lot of time to think through where they stand politically, but are too carefree to do anything more than write music about it. Also, they are pessimistic and feel they will never change anything. This group also has logical reasons for hating Bush, such as the fact that the only Iraqis killed by Sadam were rebels who were trying to assassinate HIM.
4.Nobodies-people who really have none of their own views, but will make themselves think they believe in anything that is popular. Once they have a cause in mind, they will gather any evidence, without even thinking through it enough to realize it doesnt make any real sense. This group is very anti-Bush, but cannot give logical reasons why he is a bad president, such as the fact that he has a Texas accent(No shit. How is that a problem?)
Bleeding-heart liberal, or bleeding ass liberal is usually used by right-wing conservatives to refer to any and all democrats or liberals.
Middle-roaders like me use it for any person who thinks only about the benifit of individuals rather than society as a whole. In other words the kind of person who believes that we must not leave anyone behind, even if helping them would be a drag one the whole group. Someone who not only believes that, but will not waver on it no matter what, that is a bleeding heart-liberal.
There are few types of people who fall into this group:
1.Activists-the troublemakers who are
violent and crazy but try to cover up by pretending that their motives are moral.
2:Stoners-people who have taken a lot of time to think through where they stand politically, and realize that violence is an ineffective way to reach their goal, even if the establishment is refusing to listen to them. These people think Bush is a terrible president, and give logical reasons.
3:Metalheads-people who have taken a lot of time to think through where they stand politically, but are too carefree to do anything more than write music about it. Also, they are pessimistic and feel they will never change anything. This group also has logical reasons for hating Bush, such as the fact that the only Iraqis killed by Sadam were rebels who were trying to assassinate HIM.
4.Nobodies-people who really have none of their own views, but will make themselves think they believe in anything that is popular. Once they have a cause in mind, they will gather any evidence, without even thinking through it enough to realize it doesnt make any real sense. This group is very anti-Bush, but cannot give logical reasons why he is a bad president, such as the fact that he has a Texas accent(No shit. How is that a problem?)
Bleeding-heart liberal, or bleeding ass liberal is usually used by right-wing conservatives to refer to any and all democrats or liberals.
Middle-roaders like me use it for any person who thinks only about the benifit of individuals rather than society as a whole. In other words the kind of person who believes that we must not leave anyone behind, even if helping them would be a drag one the whole group. Someone who not only believes that, but will not waver on it no matter what, that is a bleeding heart-liberal.
These examples are simplified because a realistic example would take to long to think of and type. Enjoy.
Bussinessman A: We just bought out that from Georgia, so we can finally expand our bussiness to the rest of the US.
Bussinessman B: We still got to watch out, before we know it the bleeding-heart liberals will be on our ass calling us a monopoly. You saw what happened with Bell Atlantic.
Redneck: That rabbit threatened ta kill my family, and the only thing keepin` me from shootin` the li`l terrorist is them damn bleedin` heart liberals.
(note that not all rednecks are crazy like that.)
Bussinessman A: We just bought out that from Georgia, so we can finally expand our bussiness to the rest of the US.
Bussinessman B: We still got to watch out, before we know it the bleeding-heart liberals will be on our ass calling us a monopoly. You saw what happened with Bell Atlantic.
Redneck: That rabbit threatened ta kill my family, and the only thing keepin` me from shootin` the li`l terrorist is them damn bleedin` heart liberals.
(note that not all rednecks are crazy like that.)
by tanukisanyo May 08, 2005
Insant Messenger acronym:
"I Don`t Know"
Usually used by people who use IM for the same exact 15 minutes every day.
This one is so rare I sometimes gotta stop and think what it means.
"I Don`t Know"
Usually used by people who use IM for the same exact 15 minutes every day.
This one is so rare I sometimes gotta stop and think what it means.
FuppleRampays is no longer idle at 3:10
PoposeMadger:hey
FuppleRampays:uhh yo
PoposeMadger:when is 8or`s party?
FuppleRampays:idk
PoposeMadger:what?
PoposeMadger:wtf dude
FuppleRampays:......
FuppleRampays:OMG
FuppleRampays:serious?
PoposeMadger:I DONT KNOW!!
FuppleRampays:...there you go finally
PoposeMadger:wait what....
PoposeMadger:o yeh rite I was just fuckin with you
PoposeMadger:thats all
PoposeMadger:...
FuppleRampays has signed off at 3:25
PoposeMadger:hey
FuppleRampays:uhh yo
PoposeMadger:when is 8or`s party?
FuppleRampays:idk
PoposeMadger:what?
PoposeMadger:wtf dude
FuppleRampays:......
FuppleRampays:OMG
FuppleRampays:serious?
PoposeMadger:I DONT KNOW!!
FuppleRampays:...there you go finally
PoposeMadger:wait what....
PoposeMadger:o yeh rite I was just fuckin with you
PoposeMadger:thats all
PoposeMadger:...
FuppleRampays has signed off at 3:25
by tanukisanyo May 20, 2005
1. Continent which is:
a.Earth`s biggest continent
b.Place with the most ranged economy. For example the Phillipines is 3rd world, but Japan is one of the best economies in the world.
c.Continent whose citizens would completely die out without rice. It is not just a stereotype, all Asian countries(except maybe some in the Middle East) depend on rice and even food that is not rice is often made of rice somehow.
d.Continent whose citizens can come to the US and do better than white, black, or latino people in any bussiness (other than entertainment).
e.Very poorly defined on Urban Dictionary by inom. Asia is not a counrty, it is a continent. And it has far less poverty and starvation than some other parts of the world.
2. Crappy 80s band. MTV and VH1 like to call them "hair metal". I call them "pop". Kind of like Bon Jovi, but
not even worth playing at a dance.
3. Rare Italian girl`s name.
a.Earth`s biggest continent
b.Place with the most ranged economy. For example the Phillipines is 3rd world, but Japan is one of the best economies in the world.
c.Continent whose citizens would completely die out without rice. It is not just a stereotype, all Asian countries(except maybe some in the Middle East) depend on rice and even food that is not rice is often made of rice somehow.
d.Continent whose citizens can come to the US and do better than white, black, or latino people in any bussiness (other than entertainment).
e.Very poorly defined on Urban Dictionary by inom. Asia is not a counrty, it is a continent. And it has far less poverty and starvation than some other parts of the world.
2. Crappy 80s band. MTV and VH1 like to call them "hair metal". I call them "pop". Kind of like Bon Jovi, but
not even worth playing at a dance.
3. Rare Italian girl`s name.
1a.J.B:Asia is huge. It is a big ass continent. Asia so big, it`s got its own sun. People everywhere else sayin` "You got your own sun! Why we gotta share the same one with everyone else?". THAT`S how big Asia is.
Lacey:Yeah, and its a pretty big continent, too.
1b.Maybe Thailand wouldn`t look so crappy if it weren`t right under Japan.
1c.News in 2008: It`s been 14 months since Worlwide rice famine started, and things are looking very bad in Asia and the Middle East. Europe, Africa, and the Americas have been able to survive on their non-rice foods. All wealthier Asians have very rapidly migrated to Europe and the United States, abandoning the strong trade-based economies of China and Japan. Most Asian citizens have completed died out, and most governments have collapsed. The only nations which have survived this ordeal so far are Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and the state of Palestine. Palestine and Israel have been locked in a power struggle for control of the continent, both sides claiming that Asia is their promised land. However, neither side has advanced as they have only been fighting eachother, the Palestians with an unknown financial and militaristic supporter. Iraq has been under check by the United States for five years now, as ex-president George W. Bush warns that Iraqi rebels might to use WMD to overtake Asia. The Saudis have not enacted any so far, but have peacefully claimed most of continental Asia. The Saudi Government could not be reached for commentary.
1d.Once I owned a convenience store, but a Korean guy bought me out. Then I went back to college for a computer degree, and designed robots until a Japanese guy took my job. Then I started a bussiness fixing computers, but it got crushed by an Indian guy. I thought I was fucked until I got a deal in New York. Now I dance, so I`ve got a steady job until a black guy takes it from me.
1e.Asia is definitely not the continent with the least money. That would probably be Africa. Or, if you want to be technical, Antartica.
2. I started getting pretty pissed off when the DJ at the holiday dance started playing "Livin` on a Prayer", but I decided to try to keep enjoying myself despite the lack of good music. I managed to tune out the shitty selection. That is, until they put on "Final Countdown".
3. Don`t you know who Asia Depino is? She was on that one show...
(asia depino is not a real actress)
Lacey:Yeah, and its a pretty big continent, too.
1b.Maybe Thailand wouldn`t look so crappy if it weren`t right under Japan.
1c.News in 2008: It`s been 14 months since Worlwide rice famine started, and things are looking very bad in Asia and the Middle East. Europe, Africa, and the Americas have been able to survive on their non-rice foods. All wealthier Asians have very rapidly migrated to Europe and the United States, abandoning the strong trade-based economies of China and Japan. Most Asian citizens have completed died out, and most governments have collapsed. The only nations which have survived this ordeal so far are Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and the state of Palestine. Palestine and Israel have been locked in a power struggle for control of the continent, both sides claiming that Asia is their promised land. However, neither side has advanced as they have only been fighting eachother, the Palestians with an unknown financial and militaristic supporter. Iraq has been under check by the United States for five years now, as ex-president George W. Bush warns that Iraqi rebels might to use WMD to overtake Asia. The Saudis have not enacted any so far, but have peacefully claimed most of continental Asia. The Saudi Government could not be reached for commentary.
1d.Once I owned a convenience store, but a Korean guy bought me out. Then I went back to college for a computer degree, and designed robots until a Japanese guy took my job. Then I started a bussiness fixing computers, but it got crushed by an Indian guy. I thought I was fucked until I got a deal in New York. Now I dance, so I`ve got a steady job until a black guy takes it from me.
1e.Asia is definitely not the continent with the least money. That would probably be Africa. Or, if you want to be technical, Antartica.
2. I started getting pretty pissed off when the DJ at the holiday dance started playing "Livin` on a Prayer", but I decided to try to keep enjoying myself despite the lack of good music. I managed to tune out the shitty selection. That is, until they put on "Final Countdown".
3. Don`t you know who Asia Depino is? She was on that one show...
(asia depino is not a real actress)
by tanukisanyo May 14, 2005
What happens when you wear Axe.
Does not help you get past bad looks if you are to ugly, but wearing Axe means you do not have to be smooth.
Effectiveness decreases with amount of Axe used. It works best with just a spritz.
Too much, on the other hand, could keep Johnny Depp from getting laid.
See also The Axe Defect
Does not help you get past bad looks if you are to ugly, but wearing Axe means you do not have to be smooth.
Effectiveness decreases with amount of Axe used. It works best with just a spritz.
Too much, on the other hand, could keep Johnny Depp from getting laid.
See also The Axe Defect
Do not press the button down all the way.
PRESSURE:
You should hear a gentle "pssss" sound if there is not background noise.
If you can hear a loud "PSSHHT" sound that interrupts the local shoot-out, you are using to much Axe.
TIME: 1 second per pit, .5 seconds anywhere else.
FREQUENCY: No more than twice within 24 hours, except in the case of extreme physical exertion, in which case the limit should be 4 times.
PRESSURE:
You should hear a gentle "pssss" sound if there is not background noise.
If you can hear a loud "PSSHHT" sound that interrupts the local shoot-out, you are using to much Axe.
TIME: 1 second per pit, .5 seconds anywhere else.
FREQUENCY: No more than twice within 24 hours, except in the case of extreme physical exertion, in which case the limit should be 4 times.
by tanukisanyo June 05, 2005