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tanukisanyo's definitions

The Axe Effect

What happens when you wear Axe.

Does not help you get past bad looks if you are to ugly, but wearing Axe means you do not have to be smooth.

Effectiveness decreases with amount of Axe used. It works best with just a spritz.
Too much, on the other hand, could keep Johnny Depp from getting laid.
See also The Axe Defect
Do not press the button down all the way.

PRESSURE:
You should hear a gentle "pssss" sound if there is not background noise.
If you can hear a loud "PSSHHT" sound that interrupts the local shoot-out, you are using to much Axe.

TIME: 1 second per pit, .5 seconds anywhere else.

FREQUENCY: No more than twice within 24 hours, except in the case of extreme physical exertion, in which case the limit should be 4 times.
by tanukisanyo June 12, 2005
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Comedy Central

The channel with the best programming and the worst marketing. A network that acquires and produces many great TV franchise, and makes commercials to make it all look like shit.

The owners are already rich of course. But unlike other network execs, they say fuck quality, so long as they keep there couch potato market.
---Originals---

South Park: Best on the channel, for obvious reasons.

Chappelle Show: Most original sketch comedy show ever, by Neal Brennan and Dave Chappelle(also the best stand-up act I have seen).

Crank Yankers: Some very original prank calls, great effect added by puppets` actions sometimes. Awesome guests that people who know anything about stand-up would recognize.

Daily Show with Jon Stewart: Great newscaster, originally from MTV News. Always known for sense of humor added to reports, still awesome, but now its a whole half-hour! Even a decent source of news, if you are smart enough to see what the actuall facts were(as it is fact-based)

The Critic: Highly underaprecciated classic. Anything with John Lovitz is awesome(ie. Rat Race, The Wedding Singer)

Insomniac: Dave Attell, great comic. Good at stand up, great talent for getting wasted. Jason rules too.
Plus, my NYC friend ran into them one night in Brooklyn. Lucky bastard.

Drawn Together:....
"The 1st animated reality show"? What kind of bullshit is that?

Duckman: great. Simple but deep humor. Just watch it.

Kid Notorious: I don`t know shit about Robert Evans, except that he rules.

The Man Show: good as South Park, til they put those new guys on.

Reno 911: #2 show on the network. Awesome shit. Great parody of Nevada if you have ever been there.

---Acquired Programs---
Kids in the Hall- Canada trying to be Monty Python. No chance in hell, but the Kids still rule.
that`s right, Comedy Central did not make it. How stupid can you be to not know it`s Canadian? They even talk about it on the show! Hey morons like Fotodevoto, CC can`t make new episodes of a Canadian show, can they?

Mad TV: sucks as, why did Comedy Central actually pay Fox for this piece of crap

Saturday Night Live: great show, but it sometimes seems like Comedy Central handpicks the worst episodes

Dilbert: ok to read in the paper for 30 seconds, not worth watching on TV for 30 minutes.

Whose Line is it Anyway: Best improv show there is, done long before Dana Carvey`s version on ABC went mainstream thanks to Brady.

Trigger Happy TV: The best show they ever bought from BBC, even better than Whose Line. When I get back to the States, I am SO filming something like this.

thats all i can think of.
if i left anything out, my memory probably blocked it out for unrectifiable suctitude.
Bill Maher: We have a great new line-up for next quarter. It`s our best variety yet, we have shows that we can market to all Americans. What do you think?
Marketing Chief: You mean expand out market to all ages, races, occupations, and both genders? No. Marketing to everyone would be too obvious. What do you say we make a depressingly shallow marketing campaign, so that we can limit our market to unemployed white catholic males between 25-30 years old?
Maher: What? I gotta get to the country club, get in a few games, little rushed. What are you proposing, in 3 words?
Chief: Market like retards.
Maher: Sounds like a plan!
Chief: Right on it. As any bussinessman knows, its best to limit your market as much as possible and make your product sound worthless.
Maher: Will it leave me more time for golf?
Chief: Sure, why not?
Maher: I like your thinking! Get right on that. I`m out, late for my caviar at the country club!
by tanukisanyo May 22, 2005
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me love you long time

USED BY
1. hookers to offer their services

2. ignorant jackasses as a slack way to say "I love you"

3. ordinary people making references. most users think they are referencing South Park or Family Guy, but actually both of those were referencing Full Metal Jacket(#8 movie of all time according to sanyosuru). A hooker uses this phrase becuase her English is bad, and all she can say is "Sucky-sucky, 5 dollar. Me love you long time. Too long time." South Park has Eric as Vietnamese hooker, exactly as in the original. In Family Guy, Peter says this because it is the only English he thinks the Japanese baseball player will understand, and he can`t afford to pay for him.
1. hooker:me love you long time

2. ignorant jackass: me love you long time

3. synDicate: dude, did you see that episode where Peter is like "Me love you long time" that was great! They are so original.
me: no, that was a reference to full metal jacket
by tanukisanyo May 19, 2005
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sexual harassment

1. Persistent unwanted romantic advances
2. Any act that can be perceived by the receiving party as a sexual advance
3. A sexual advance
1. Girl: I told you I already have a boyfriend.
Obessessed Loser: But I love you! Please marry me.
Chick: Hell no! Go away, damnit!

2. Girl 2: How the hell did you get my dress, and why are you rubbing it?
Laundromat Guy: You just handed it to me, ma`am. I`m just getting this sticker off, like you asked me to.

3. a-when one little panda pulls on another little panda`s unerwear. That makes me a sad panda.
b-when one little panda sticks his furry little willy in another little panda`s ear. That makes me a very sad panda.
c- Girl 3: Did you just slap my ass and say "Break me off a peice of that"?
Dude: Sorry, is that what I said? What I meant to say is "I want to take you back to my place and get anal". Is that better?
by tanukisanyo May 9, 2005
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Gai Maitou

1.The best martial arts instructor ever!
Close personal friend of The King(Bruce Campbell) and the Master(Ving Rhames.

2.When Gai Maitou is not instucting the best martial arts ever or being friends with the King and the Master, he is one of the best characters in Naruto manga and anime.

He totally made Rock Lee who is today by taking him under his wing, giving him confidence, teaching him the importance of youth, and teaching him to kick serious ass, using only taijutsus(attacks that use physical energy istead of chakura).

He also turned Rock Lee into his clone.

His main moral code is that you must do everything within your power to protect any people who are important to you.

see also Gai Sensei
1.Me: Today, my house.
Marathon of awexome.
Naruto, Evil Dead 2, Dawn of the Dead, then fireworks. BYOB.

2.Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
Lee: Gai Sensei......
Gai Sensei: Lee......
by tanukisanyo May 9, 2005
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Asia

1. Continent which is:
a.Earth`s biggest continent

b.Place with the most ranged economy. For example the Phillipines is 3rd world, but Japan is one of the best economies in the world.

c.Continent whose citizens would completely die out without rice. It is not just a stereotype, all Asian countries(except maybe some in the Middle East) depend on rice and even food that is not rice is often made of rice somehow.

d.Continent whose citizens can come to the US and do better than white, black, or latino people in any bussiness (other than entertainment).

e.Very poorly defined on Urban Dictionary by inom. Asia is not a counrty, it is a continent. And it has far less poverty and starvation than some other parts of the world.

2. Crappy 80s band. MTV and VH1 like to call them "hair metal". I call them "pop". Kind of like Bon Jovi, but
not even worth playing at a dance.

3. Rare Italian girl`s name.
1a.J.B:Asia is huge. It is a big ass continent. Asia so big, it`s got its own sun. People everywhere else sayin` "You got your own sun! Why we gotta share the same one with everyone else?". THAT`S how big Asia is.
Lacey:Yeah, and its a pretty big continent, too.

1b.Maybe Thailand wouldn`t look so crappy if it weren`t right under Japan.

1c.News in 2008: It`s been 14 months since Worlwide rice famine started, and things are looking very bad in Asia and the Middle East. Europe, Africa, and the Americas have been able to survive on their non-rice foods. All wealthier Asians have very rapidly migrated to Europe and the United States, abandoning the strong trade-based economies of China and Japan. Most Asian citizens have completed died out, and most governments have collapsed. The only nations which have survived this ordeal so far are Iraq, Saudi Arabia, Israel, and the state of Palestine. Palestine and Israel have been locked in a power struggle for control of the continent, both sides claiming that Asia is their promised land. However, neither side has advanced as they have only been fighting eachother, the Palestians with an unknown financial and militaristic supporter. Iraq has been under check by the United States for five years now, as ex-president George W. Bush warns that Iraqi rebels might to use WMD to overtake Asia. The Saudis have not enacted any so far, but have peacefully claimed most of continental Asia. The Saudi Government could not be reached for commentary.

1d.Once I owned a convenience store, but a Korean guy bought me out. Then I went back to college for a computer degree, and designed robots until a Japanese guy took my job. Then I started a bussiness fixing computers, but it got crushed by an Indian guy. I thought I was fucked until I got a deal in New York. Now I dance, so I`ve got a steady job until a black guy takes it from me.

1e.Asia is definitely not the continent with the least money. That would probably be Africa. Or, if you want to be technical, Antartica.

2. I started getting pretty pissed off when the DJ at the holiday dance started playing "Livin` on a Prayer", but I decided to try to keep enjoying myself despite the lack of good music. I managed to tune out the shitty selection. That is, until they put on "Final Countdown".

3. Don`t you know who Asia Depino is? She was on that one show...

(asia depino is not a real actress)
by tanukisanyo May 15, 2005
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spontaneous cumbustion

Cumming without being aroused and with no sexual provocation.
by tanukisanyo May 9, 2005
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