7 definitions by sir haxalot
End
Of
Burrito
Anxiety
The irrational fear while getting to the end of your burrito that it will start to fall apart, releasing grease and sauce all over your clean hands.
Of
Burrito
Anxiety
The irrational fear while getting to the end of your burrito that it will start to fall apart, releasing grease and sauce all over your clean hands.
Me: This bitch did a sloppy-ass roll while making my burrito. I have mad EOBA right now.
Friend: who cares, just wash your hands after.
*takes bite and piece of carne asada rolls off thumb onto white shirt*
Me: You've gotta be FUCKING kidding me.
Friend: who cares, just wash your hands after.
*takes bite and piece of carne asada rolls off thumb onto white shirt*
Me: You've gotta be FUCKING kidding me.
by sir haxalot March 5, 2019
A traditional dish invented as an experiment in a college dormroom. It is basically spaghetti, except instead of noodles you use bread.
It became incredibly popular within the dorm, and has never been used elsewhere.
Breadghetti is NOT a sloppy joe, because a sloppy joe uses sloppy joe sauce, not spaghetti sauce.
It became incredibly popular within the dorm, and has never been used elsewhere.
Breadghetti is NOT a sloppy joe, because a sloppy joe uses sloppy joe sauce, not spaghetti sauce.
Student 1: "Ah shit, we are out of noodles, and I already started making the sauce."
Student 2: "We have bread. Fuck it, lets make breadghetti."
Student 1: "Word"
*the rest is history*
Student 2: "We have bread. Fuck it, lets make breadghetti."
Student 1: "Word"
*the rest is history*
by sir haxalot September 8, 2014
by sir haxalot February 2, 2014
Friend: "It smells like shit in here, are you sure you wiped man?"
Me: "Yeah I wiped, but on the last wipe I put my Faith in God"
Me: "Yeah I wiped, but on the last wipe I put my Faith in God"
by sir haxalot January 23, 2019
by sir haxalot December 10, 2021
When a customer at a restaurant pays the bill partially in cash, the rest on the card. Then only tips for the amount charged to the card.
After enjoying an incredible first date, Jake pulls out a wad of cash to impress Laney.
"How about you go freshen up in the bathroom baby while I take care of the bill"
Little did Laney know, Jake only paid half in cash (low numbered bills wrapped in a fifty to make it look like a fat stack) because he planned on doing the Jersey Shuffle before he scrammed.
Some say it's not intentional, maybe he's just an idiot and doesn't understand how tips work. I mean, he's from New Jersey.
Laney went back to his house (his mom's house, but she was out of town) and sucked his dick because she thought he was a big player.
"How about you go freshen up in the bathroom baby while I take care of the bill"
Little did Laney know, Jake only paid half in cash (low numbered bills wrapped in a fifty to make it look like a fat stack) because he planned on doing the Jersey Shuffle before he scrammed.
Some say it's not intentional, maybe he's just an idiot and doesn't understand how tips work. I mean, he's from New Jersey.
Laney went back to his house (his mom's house, but she was out of town) and sucked his dick because she thought he was a big player.
by sir haxalot August 11, 2022
Pronounced like "stalagmite", it's when you don't wipe your ass after taking a shit or wash your ass in the shower the shit starts to build up into what is known as "stalagshites".
The shit envelopes the hair around the asshole and fuses to it as well as the ass skin. It hardens over time, resulting in pillar-like spikes that protrude from one's ass. As you can imagine, stalagshites grow in size the longer your ass goes unwashed. In rate cases, they can reach all the way to the water in the toilet bowl, resulting in a blunting of the tips.
The shit envelopes the hair around the asshole and fuses to it as well as the ass skin. It hardens over time, resulting in pillar-like spikes that protrude from one's ass. As you can imagine, stalagshites grow in size the longer your ass goes unwashed. In rate cases, they can reach all the way to the water in the toilet bowl, resulting in a blunting of the tips.
Example 1:
"I used to be part of a hippy group in the forests of Oregon. The free lifestyle was wonderful. However eventually the thick dreadlocks and stink of our stalagshites got the best of me and I decided to go back to my normal lifestyle."
Example 2:
"Marcus was a disgusting pig of a roommate. He never washed or wiped his asshole. One day while hopping over a wrought-iron fence, a spike snagged one of his stalagshites, ripping the hair and some of his ass skin from his asshole. After that, he started keeping his ass cleaner. "
"I used to be part of a hippy group in the forests of Oregon. The free lifestyle was wonderful. However eventually the thick dreadlocks and stink of our stalagshites got the best of me and I decided to go back to my normal lifestyle."
Example 2:
"Marcus was a disgusting pig of a roommate. He never washed or wiped his asshole. One day while hopping over a wrought-iron fence, a spike snagged one of his stalagshites, ripping the hair and some of his ass skin from his asshole. After that, he started keeping his ass cleaner. "
by sir haxalot April 13, 2023