Definitions by sbjkd

Barkers’ Eggs 

Dog turds/Dog shits

“You need to clean up the backyard. It’s covered with Barkers’ Eggs.”

Barkers’ Eggs by sbjkd October 5, 2020

Bum Spuds 

Poo, shit, or shite. The product of defecation.

I’m touching cloth! I really need to lay some Bum Spuds.

Someone forgot to flush the toilet and it is full of Bum Spuds.

Bum Spuds by sbjkd October 5, 2020

Blanket Ripper

An extremely loud, explosive fart in bed, which threatens to tear the blankets apart.

Bloody hell Ernest, I thought I'd never get to sleep last night. The wife kept doing these vile blanket rippers. I was scared that she'd either rip the blankets apart and we'd freeze to death, or the stinking fart miasma would gas us both.

Blanket Ripper by sbjkd January 25, 2009

Mattress Pumper 

A young guy, shy, loner, usually a teenager, often a geek, who does not have a girlfriend and spends far too much time alone, often at home in his bedroom, when other people his age are out having a good time. The implication being that he is wanking or fucking, i.e. "Pumping" his mattress because he can't root a real Sheila. The meaning of the term and it's use might have nothing in common.

An underage drinker (under 18) is in a bar and bumps, into a grown man who shouts at him, "Piss off, you little mattress pumper".

Mattress Pumper by sbjkd January 19, 2009