robert e. porter's definitions

Munching the Carpet

A synonym for eating pussy. The term is primarily used in the lesbian community.

After her win at Wimbledon, Martina was munching the carpet on her fluff girlfriend when I opened the wrong door.

by Robert E. Porter January 17, 2006

fucktool

1. (n.) any sexual accessory or device that closely mimicks the shape of a nice hard cock.

2. (n.) a child or adult who is unwittingly stupid, i.e. a moron or idiot

See also dildo and butt plug.

1. "I want you to ram that fucktool right up my pussy NOW, David! Oh, huhuhuhu!!!"

2. "I told you not to answer the door after ten o'clock you little fucktool!

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

holepole

(n.) A penis or dildo.

Hey, Bruce, will you puhleeeeezzz plug me with your holepole?

by Robert E. Porter December 9, 2008

flafliculate

To run about wildly in the nude, with all body parts bouncing.

Please do not flafliculate in our presence, thank you.

by Robert E. Porter January 9, 2006

pessary

(n. obs.) A medicated vaginal suppository or a contraceptive diaphragm.

I'll be right back to bed, sweetheart... I have to put a pessary in my pussy.

by Robert E. Porter December 9, 2008

Anna Nicole

(n.) The act of marrying anyone who is greater than three times one's age in order to become the beneficiary of his/her multi-million dollar estate.

You mean that bitch is only 23, and the guy she married was 75 years old? Man, she did the Anna Nicole on that poor old bastard.

by Robert E. Porter July 20, 2008

Milk of Fagnesia

A vulgar slang term for fresh semen.

I sucked him off, then took his load of Milk of Fagnesia down my throat.

by Robert E. Porter January 15, 2006