robert e. porter's definitions

fucktool

1. (n.) any sexual accessory or device that closely mimicks the shape of a nice hard cock.

2. (n.) a child or adult who is unwittingly stupid, i.e. a moron or idiot

See also dildo and butt plug.

1. "I want you to ram that fucktool right up my pussy NOW, David! Oh, huhuhuhu!!!"

2. "I told you not to answer the door after ten o'clock you little fucktool!

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

Munching the Carpet

A synonym for eating pussy. The term is primarily used in the lesbian community.

After her win at Wimbledon, Martina was munching the carpet on her fluff girlfriend when I opened the wrong door.

by Robert E. Porter January 17, 2006

pessary

(n. obs.) A medicated vaginal suppository or a contraceptive diaphragm.

I'll be right back to bed, sweetheart... I have to put a pessary in my pussy.

by Robert E. Porter December 9, 2008

Anna Nicole

(n.) The act of marrying anyone who is greater than three times one's age in order to become the beneficiary of his/her multi-million dollar estate.

You mean that bitch is only 23, and the guy she married was 75 years old? Man, she did the Anna Nicole on that poor old bastard.

by Robert E. Porter July 20, 2008

peter eater

(n. slang) a heterosexual woman or homosexual man that indulges in the art of fellatio. The term is primarily applied to male twink homos.

Ever since the age of four, Anthony was the consummate peter eater... he went down on Beau every day of his life.

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

quim

The female pudendum (sex organs). Mainly used in Great Britain.

Todd really got a thrill as he prepared to tongue Betsy's quim.

by Robert E. Porter January 21, 2006

muffdive

(slang) To perform cunnilingus on or to have coitus with a woman.

I bought her a drink, and she said "Let's go to my place and you can muffdive me all night long."

by Robert E. Porter April 3, 2006