robert e. porter's definitions

muffdive

(slang) To perform cunnilingus on or to have coitus with a woman.

I bought her a drink, and she said "Let's go to my place and you can muffdive me all night long."

by Robert E. Porter April 3, 2006

slutcunt

1. (n.) reflexive of cuntslut.
2. (n.) a prostitute's uncleaned vagina, or for the more colorful imagination, a horny hooker's putrid pussy.
3. (n.) a disreputable or deplorable person.

1. How DARE you call me a slutcunt, you cuntslut!
2. Sorry about the smell of my slutcunt - one moment while I douche.
3. Oh, go stick it up your slutcunt, ya slutcunt!

by Robert E. Porter January 2, 2009

clitlicker

(n.) any individual who enjoys licking clitori, human or otherwise.

I knew Janet was a clitlicker when she went down on that heifer's twat.

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

one-eyed mayonnaise launcher

(n.) Same as penis or dick.

Say, Doctor, I've been having an itch in the area of my one-eyed mayonnaise launcher. Might you have a look at it please?

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008

sclut

(n.) A prostitute that smells like a maggot-infested corpse, due to not bathing for 4 weeks at a time. Any sclut can also be a scumbag slut, and vice versa.

Rob: Hey, Bernice, what's that smell?
Bernice: Whut smell you talkin' 'bout?
Rob: It must be the aroma of your dirty rotten putrid snatch.
Bernice: Prolly so. I done me a hunert-foty johns dis month.
Rob: Oh God, go CLEAN that snatch, you sclut!

by Robert E. Porter September 6, 2007

Milk of Fagnesia

A vulgar slang term for fresh semen.

I sucked him off, then took his load of Milk of Fagnesia down my throat.

by Robert E. Porter January 15, 2006

dickzit

(n. slang) A pinkish pustulant eruption on the head of the penis resulting from genital warts. Literally, a zit that forms on the dick, dickzits are also found on surrounding parts of the slippery penile meatus and can be spread to women, thus becoming clitzits on the slimy vaginal pussy.

I've got so many dickzits, my cock looks like a PayDay. Wanna eat me?

by Robert E. Porter December 31, 2008