Definitions by peter kobs

Junker Flunker

1. An old car that doesn't qualify for the $4,500 cash trade-in incentive from the government because it gets more than 15 mpg.
2. The sudden realization that your old beater vehicle is lost in the twilight zone between "generally worthless" and "totally worthless," forcing you to keep driving it for another year -- at least.

"I just looked up the mileage for my 1996 RAV4. The stupid Junker Flunker gets 16 mpg, which means I won't be getting any of that government cash after all. Drat!"

Junker Flunker by Peter Kobs July 29, 2009

Fear Profiteer 

1. Someone who stands to gain power, influence or funding by spreading fear in the general population. 2. A sophisticated type of 21st century fear monger who uses PR methods to generate panic, doubt and free-floating anxiety. 3. Dick Cheney and his ilk.

Thanks to that Fear Profiteer in Wyoming, all shampoo bottles will be banned on U.S. flights.

Fear Profiteer by Peter Kobs July 17, 2009

Minute Money

1. Cash that's urgently needed (usually by a teenager) to purchase additional cell phone minutes. 2. The reason why pre-paid cell phones are so cheap.

"Dad! I need some Minute Money so my girlfriend can text me after the party tonight."

Minute Money by Peter Kobs July 8, 2009

Prisoner of the Present

1. A person whose entire worldview is shaped by current events, stumbling along from one crisis to another.
2. Someone without a historical perspective or hope for the future.
3. The mindset that causes "knee-jerk" reactions to almost any kind of social or economic change.
4. A state of perpetual panic about "the world today."

Larry says the U.S. economy will never recover no matter what happens in Washington -- he's a typical Prisoner of the Present.

Prisoner of the Present by Peter Kobs June 4, 2009

Neocapitalism 

1. A new form of capitalism that emphasizes government intervention in the economy to rescue and restructure large companies that are deemed "too big to fail" because of the systemic risk they pose to the nation.

2. The opposite of Marxism, which anticipates the collapse of the entire capitalist system and the seizure of all "means of production" -- healthy companies included.

3. An economic system that prevents large, poorly managed companies from destroying the entire country.

Obama has been called a "socialist," but history will show he's really a clever student of "Neocapitalism."

Neocapitalism by Peter Kobs May 25, 2009

Rendezvous with Reality 

1. A sudden encounter with economic reality that dramatically changes one's perceptions, plans or outlook.
2. A rude awakening to the stark differences between fantasy and actual life.
3. The dramatic change process that began in September 2008 with the collapse of the U.S. financial system.

Jean was planning to buy a vacation home in Hawaii until she had a Rendezvous with Reality -- her retirement fund had declined 50% since last fall.

Rendezvous with Reality by Peter Kobs May 19, 2009

Warm Wanter 

1. Someone who lives in a cold region of the world who secretly hopes for Global Warming to accelerate.
2. The anti-scientific feeling you get in Michigan when it snows -- AGAIN -- in late April or early October.
3. A surrender to climatic selfishness at the expense of global environmental collapse.

John became a Warm Wanter after it snowed on Earth Day -- April 22 -- for the fourth year in a row!

Warm Wanter by Peter Kobs May 18, 2009