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peter kobs's definitions

Comp Call

1. A compensation foul in football. The officials sometimes "call" a foul on team B in order to make up for a questionable foul against team A earlier in the game.

2. The unwritten law of refereeing: If you make a mistake that hurts team A, try to make up for it by calling a foul against team B later in the game. Wait at least 3:00 on the game clock so the "comp call" isn't blatantly obvious.

3. A foolish attempt to "balance" the impact of poor officiating in a high school football game.
Did you see that procedure foul on Central High in the second quarter? It was an obvious comp call to make up for that ridiculous holding call against Lakewood in the first quarter.
by Peter Kobs September 26, 2009
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Republic

Contrary to right-wing propaganda, a Republic is indeed a form of representative Democracy in which ordinary people elect officials to represent them in a legislature or parliament. Simply put, a Republic is the "what" and a Democracy is the "how." It's been that way since the Roman Republic was established in 509 B.C.

The notion that Democracy is a mob-rule involving direct citizen voting on every issue is a distortion spread by idiots like Tom Tancredo and radical ideologues like Pat Buchanan. They don't like the term "Democracy" because it reminds them of the Democratic party.

The opposite of a Republic is a Monarchy, not a Democracy.
"You know we have a Republic, not a Democracy, right?"

"You must be an intern at Fox News."
by Peter Kobs April 8, 2010
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Categorically False

1. A term frequently used by politicians when accused of something scandalous. It means: "I did it, but as long as there's no smoking gun I will deny it completely." Most such scandals involve illicit sex, bribery, influence peddling or misuse of public funds.

2. A worn-out public relations phrase that nobody believes anymore. Nixon's famous remark -- "I am not a crook" -- sounds positively Shakespearian in comparison.
"The accusation is categorically false!," said South Carolina Republican Nikki Haley. She is accused of having an "inappropriate physical relationship" with the governor's former press secretary.
by Peter Kobs May 25, 2010
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Orphan Key

Many people have a stash of old keys in a drawer or cabinet for "future use." Some keys have been there so long that you no longer remember what they're for. A bike lock? An old car? A cabinet at work? These are Orphan Keys.
"Honey, can we get rid of those stupid Orphan Keys in the strong box?"

"Absolutely not! One of them might open that safe we buried in the back yard during the Nixon administration...if we can find it."
by Peter Kobs August 25, 2009
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Street Creep

1. A new perjorative term for Wall Street executives who raked in huge bonuses while plunging the world into economic chaos.

2. A financial advisor who sells Wall Street products on commission.
Did you see the news? Those Street Creeps are taking a private jet to Aruba using our bailout money.
by Peter Kobs February 10, 2009
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Minute Money

1. Cash that's urgently needed (usually by a teenager) to purchase additional cell phone minutes. 2. The reason why pre-paid cell phones are so cheap.
"Dad! I need some Minute Money so my girlfriend can text me after the party tonight."
by Peter Kobs July 8, 2009
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Warm Wanter

1. Someone who lives in a cold region of the world who secretly hopes for Global Warming to accelerate.
2. The anti-scientific feeling you get in Michigan when it snows -- AGAIN -- in late April or early October.
3. A surrender to climatic selfishness at the expense of global environmental collapse.
John became a Warm Wanter after it snowed on Earth Day -- April 22 -- for the fourth year in a row!
by Peter Kobs May 18, 2009
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