paul fleming's definitions

Website Junkie

These individuals are addicted to websites. This condition often stems from the lack of a role model as a child, but can be blamed on anything from boredom, to an obsession with a particular field. The subject often visits the same sites over and over in the hope finding something new, much like a dog keeps checking his food bowl incase more food has been left for him. Normally reside in the North East of Scotland.

Kellie: Whats wrong with Simon these days? I called him last night and he said he was online and just hung up on me. It was really rude of him.
Steven: Don't take it personally, I was talking to his Mum and she said the phsychiatrist diagnosed him as a "Website Junkie". He just can't keep away from the internet.
Kellie: Oh, I thought he was just fucking rude.

by Paul Fleming July 12, 2006

RattyMouse

1. In some South American countries where small rodens are common, people struggle to differenciate between a mouse and a rat, so they use the name "RattyMouse" to describe both.
2. The description of a loveable partner or friend that has rodent like feature.

Jose: Damn man, who ate the rest of my chicken I saved last night, I was going to have it for breakfast?
Enrique: It wasn't me amigo, I saw a "RattyMouse" eating it last night, but I was too drunk on tequilla to do anything.
Jose: You drunk fool! Now I will be hungry all day because I didn't get my breakfast. It's your fault.
Enrique: I hate you!

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

Whore Magnet

This is the definition of a very elderly wealthy man who is very close to death and is an easy target for a "money slut" or any other female who is only concerned with his finances. These old fellows are not embarresed by the obvious fact that their new partner is a whore and is wishing him dead so she can get his money. He is infact just happy to have some sexual contact in his twilight years.

Maria: It's a shame Albert is getting used by that little tramp Tracey, she is 29 and he is 80, do you think he knows that she is only interested in his money?
Sally: Of Course he does!! But when he is sucking her tits like a new born baby, I doubt he really cares. Good luck to him, he will be dead soon so let him enjoy what he has left!
Maria: Yeah, you are right, but that old "whore magnet" should have a little more respect for his wife. She told me she can't sleep at night with all the screaming coming from Tracey and Albert.
Sally: Maybe she should move into the room next door?

by Paul Fleming July 30, 2006

Forum Addict

These people originate on the Eastern coast of the USA. Often these individuals visit internet forums and post statements that make no sense and are of no relevance to the topic that is being discussed.
They have no control of their disorder and will stop at nothing to get another pointless sentance posted on some forum.

Quentin7234: Why did that guy just post on the forum that his dog doesn't eat sugar free biscuits, when this forum is about Battlefield 2?
Soothie1932: I think that guy is a "Forum Addict", he posts on average 43 times a day on this site and I am yet to see him make any sense.
Quentin7234: Well, I wish he would stop. He makes me uncomfortable.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Monster Man

This is the description of a man who behaves like a monster and who has trouble socialising with other humans. These individuals often reside in the Midlands area of England, but are also found in towns on the North West of England.

Nigel: That guy over there looks mental, he is giving me dirty looks and is making crazy noises that are quite scary.
Paul: Watch yourself, he's a "Monster Man" so I wouldn't start anything. He will rip you in two.
Nigel: I wasn't going to.

by Paul Fleming July 11, 2006

George Bush

A single person who is responsible for thousands of paralysed people suffering due to his stupidity and lack of understanding of stem cell research.

Nigel: I have been in this wheelchair for 4 years now and that idiot "George Bush" has just rejected another plea for stem cells to be used in helping people with spinal cord injuries.
Paul: Maybe someone in his family will get paralysed and he might change his mind.
Nigel: I doubt it, unless he can somehow invade a country in the name of stem cell research, and steal their oil, I doubt it.

by Paul Fleming August 3, 2006

second hand dartboard

A phrase used in a describing a female that has had many sexual partners, and who is generally known as a whore.

"Look at that slut over there, she has had more pricks in her than a second hand dartboard."

by Paul Fleming July 8, 2006