paul fleming's definitions

Maregasm

This is a horses equivalent of a orgasm. In some hick towns in America where sleeping with animals is accepted, boasting in the bar about giving your horse a "Maregasm" is quite common and completely acceptable.

Cletis: I gone and got me a new horse called Betsie, She's a beauty, it took me a while but i gave her a "Maregasm" she aint never gonna forget!
John Boy: Way ta go Cletis, you a lucky man!

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

RattyMouse

1. In some South American countries where small rodens are common, people struggle to differenciate between a mouse and a rat, so they use the name "RattyMouse" to describe both.
2. The description of a loveable partner or friend that has rodent like feature.

Jose: Damn man, who ate the rest of my chicken I saved last night, I was going to have it for breakfast?
Enrique: It wasn't me amigo, I saw a "RattyMouse" eating it last night, but I was too drunk on tequilla to do anything.
Jose: You drunk fool! Now I will be hungry all day because I didn't get my breakfast. It's your fault.
Enrique: I hate you!

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

Slut Discount

This is the discount available as a reward for staying faithful to a prostitute. If you frequently visit the same whore, you might be offered a "slut discount" for your loyalty. Very rare, but from time to time it does happen.

Simon: I've been seeing the same prostitute for about 3 months now and last night she said that because I was a regular client, and loyal, I deserved a "slut discount". I now only have to pay £20 for the full works, it used to be £30.
Lee: Thats brilliant, what are you going to do with the money you save?
Simon. Well, its my wife's birthday soon, so I might take her out for a nice meal.
Lee: Your such a romantic, she is lucky to have you.
Simon: Yeah, I know.

by Paul Fleming July 14, 2006

Forum Addict

These people originate on the Eastern coast of the USA. Often these individuals visit internet forums and post statements that make no sense and are of no relevance to the topic that is being discussed.
They have no control of their disorder and will stop at nothing to get another pointless sentance posted on some forum.

Quentin7234: Why did that guy just post on the forum that his dog doesn't eat sugar free biscuits, when this forum is about Battlefield 2?
Soothie1932: I think that guy is a "Forum Addict", he posts on average 43 times a day on this site and I am yet to see him make any sense.
Quentin7234: Well, I wish he would stop. He makes me uncomfortable.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Slut Doctor

These are doctors that help all females give birth. 9 months after a female has whored around, she will be puished with a small creature that will develope into another human. The person who is paid to help remove the creature from the slut is often reffered to as a "Slut Doctor", because his only aim is to help the slut.

Stacey(pregnant): I'm so nervous, when those guys were waitng in line to have sex with me 9 months ago I never thought that i'd end up in hospital, I'm so scared!
Tracey: Don't be scared babe, the "Slut Doctor" knows what he is doing. He will get that creature out of you in no time!
Stacey: I hope so! I look like an elephant.

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Whored Up

This is another name for a pregnant woman. Often used by intellects and graduates to describe someone who has obviously been involved in a sex act within the last 9 months.

Jenny: Look at the size of her, she looks like a whale.
Sara: Hey, don't be so hard on her, she went to some swingers party a few months ago and got herself "Whored Up" by some guy, she is due in about 4 months.
Jenny: That will teach her. And she still looks like a whale, even if she is "Whored Up".

by Paul Fleming July 13, 2006

Website Junkie

These individuals are addicted to websites. This condition often stems from the lack of a role model as a child, but can be blamed on anything from boredom, to an obsession with a particular field. The subject often visits the same sites over and over in the hope finding something new, much like a dog keeps checking his food bowl incase more food has been left for him. Normally reside in the North East of Scotland.

Kellie: Whats wrong with Simon these days? I called him last night and he said he was online and just hung up on me. It was really rude of him.
Steven: Don't take it personally, I was talking to his Mum and she said the phsychiatrist diagnosed him as a "Website Junkie". He just can't keep away from the internet.
Kellie: Oh, I thought he was just fucking rude.

by Paul Fleming July 12, 2006