smokeups

A case of hiccups that occurs right when you light a cigarette. Involuntary hiccups happen right when you take a drag, every drag, making the smoke utterly unejoyable.

The smokeups infuriatingly go away as soon as you're done smoking.
Amy: "How you enjoying that smoke?"

Matt: "Impossible to get a full drag because I got the smokeups." takes drag, inhales *hiccup* "See? Drives me crazy!
by parallel_master September 23, 2017
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hipster alert

Phrase uttered when encountering an unexpected hipster sighting in the wild. Can also be used to poke fun at a friend who just inadvertently said something hipster.
"There's something deeply noble about growing your own vegetables."

"Hipster alert!"
by parallel_master June 05, 2018
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Sample Squatters

Costco shoppers who park their cart next to the free sample stand, waiting for the next batch to be ready. Usually parking in such a way that blocks easy access to other carts, discouraging other sample seekers.
Amy: "Hey, we should go get some free samples."

Matt: "Nah, it's already surrounded by sample squatters."

Amy: "Let's go ram their carts!"

Matt: "Now you're talkin'."
by parallel_master September 24, 2017
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shitbat crazy

Like batshit crazy, only shittier and battier.
My ex-girlfriend was shitbat crazy, but she was great in bed.
by parallel_master December 08, 2017
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Pretenglish

A fake English accent. Short for pretend English, or pretentious English.
Guy: "Blimey! That bloke's a bloody wanker! Bullocks!"

Other guy: "Stop speaking Pretenglish, you're from Arizona."
by parallel_master April 02, 2019
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passive aggro

I drank some of my roommate's milk, and later he went all passive aggro and wrote his name on all his food with black marker.
by parallel_master October 06, 2017
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PILK

acronym for People I'd Like to Kill
all these assholes are going on my PILK list
by parallel_master December 08, 2017
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