old lang guy's definitions
This is the last survivor of one of many "Haven't heard anything like that since Grandma (Grandpa) ..." expressions that used to mean someone was overdramatizing their problems. Implied the person commented on was acting like a whiny old person. "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny got her tit caught in the wringer" was what you'd say when, e.g., a coworkers spent the morning complaining about someone having taken the last cup of coffee and not making a fresh pot.
"And everyone forgot to tell me that Awards Day is next week! Why doesn't anyone ever tell me? Doesn't anyone care ...." etc.
(whispered to friend) "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny caught her tit in a wringer."
(Alternatives that once were common) "Haven't heard anything like that since someone put a cherry bomb in Grandpa's truss."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Granny sat on the toilet plunger."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Grandpa got a turd stuck sideways."
(whispered to friend) "Haven't heard anything like that since Granny caught her tit in a wringer."
(Alternatives that once were common) "Haven't heard anything like that since someone put a cherry bomb in Grandpa's truss."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Granny sat on the toilet plunger."
"Haven't heard anything like that since Grandpa got a turd stuck sideways."
by old lang guy September 18, 2008
Get the tit in a wringermug. A pair of shorts so short (esp. in the crotch) that it's physically possible to have intercourse with a woman wearing them without having to pull them down.
See any Girls Gone Wild video for plenty of girls in tugovers!
We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
We were making out and I got two fingers around one side of her tugovers.
by old lang guy August 27, 2010
Get the tugoversmug. Any exceptionally stupid or illiterate phrase found in a pop song. Particularly if it's then defended or expounded upon in various "meanings of lyrics" sites or in fan writing. A lot of pop stars were so totally created by parents/managers/agents/etc. that they went straight from a suburban bedroom to the celeb suites without having read a book or talked to a real person on the way, getting all their alleged education from other pop songs and tv.
The words "fork stuck in the road" originally occurred in a Green Day song, and in a later interview (urban legend has it) the songwriter came up with a long story about how people on journeys would stick a dinner fork into the road to show they'd been there or some such -- apparently being unaware that a dinner fork was originally a "forked spoon", i.e. one that split, the way a forked stick or a forked road splits, and that a "fork in the road" is a place where you make a decision, not a milestone or boundary marker. (I can find no evidence that any such interview occurred, but it seems to be widely believed in).
The words "fork stuck in the road" originally occurred in a Green Day song, and in a later interview (urban legend has it) the songwriter came up with a long story about how people on journeys would stick a dinner fork into the road to show they'd been there or some such -- apparently being unaware that a dinner fork was originally a "forked spoon", i.e. one that split, the way a forked stick or a forked road splits, and that a "fork in the road" is a place where you make a decision, not a milestone or boundary marker. (I can find no evidence that any such interview occurred, but it seems to be widely believed in).
"Hey, somebody should tell Alanis that every time you hear the rolling thunder, it means the lightning already missed you. And read her a definition of ironic."
"That's like so unfair! She was saying that like, he runs away when there's no reason to! And she was making fun of the way people use the word ironic wrong!"
"Naw, it was just another fork stuck in the road. She's the fork stuck in the road goddess."
"That's like so unfair! She was saying that like, he runs away when there's no reason to! And she was making fun of the way people use the word ironic wrong!"
"Naw, it was just another fork stuck in the road. She's the fork stuck in the road goddess."
by old lang guy September 17, 2008
Get the fork stuck in the roadmug. The situation in which a one-time, flash in the pan celebrity is desperately or pathetically trying to get back into the news and gossip, if only for a moment. Comes from the "fifteen minutes of fame" phrase.
by old lang guy January 8, 2009
Get the looking for the sixteenth minutemug. Stripper or slut-in-a-box worker. Mostly you hear the expression from old gomers nowadays. From the old usage of "sling" to mean delivering or presenting, so in 30s hep jive, waitresses were hash slingers, bartenders were booze slingers, and so on.
Grandma got through the first part of the Depression slinging milk, but the dairy went bankrupt, so she slung hash for a while, till she found out she could make a lot more at the burly-q as a tit slinger.
by old lang guy September 18, 2008
Get the tit slingermug. Also songs used when people needed to work in rhythm. Many are familiar folk songs. Like
--sea chanteys where the lead singer's solo line would get everyone set, and then they'd all sing (and therefore exhale) when they put out their effort pulling on a line.
-- field hollers that were used to keep lines hoeing a field up with each other. (And field hollers, speeded up and with some rhythm and some guitar added, might have been one of the origins of the blues, and thus of most American popular music since 1920)
-- capstan chanteys that kept people pretty much walking in the same rhythm while they turned giant cranks.
Very often work songs were subversive, making fun of the boss, complaining about the conditions, and sometimes carrying instructions for prison breaks, union organizing, or the Underground Railroad.
--sea chanteys where the lead singer's solo line would get everyone set, and then they'd all sing (and therefore exhale) when they put out their effort pulling on a line.
-- field hollers that were used to keep lines hoeing a field up with each other. (And field hollers, speeded up and with some rhythm and some guitar added, might have been one of the origins of the blues, and thus of most American popular music since 1920)
-- capstan chanteys that kept people pretty much walking in the same rhythm while they turned giant cranks.
Very often work songs were subversive, making fun of the boss, complaining about the conditions, and sometimes carrying instructions for prison breaks, union organizing, or the Underground Railroad.
Work songs examples:
Sea chantey,
Leader (while the end man belays, and everyone walks up the line and gets a grip): Reuben was no sailor ...
Crew (Singing while they pull the line back): Ranzo, boys ranzo!
(later in the song it turns out Reuben is now the captain ...)
Field holler ...
Leader: (while the crew picks up their hammers, stretches, and gets ready to swing): When Israel was in Egypt land ...
Crew (hitting on the drills on let, peop, and go): LET MY PEOPLE GO!
Capstan chantey, used to turn the winch to move the locks on the canal ...
Leader (while crew breathe and get set): I got a mule, her name is Sal ...
Crew (Walking forward, pushing on the capstan bars): FIFTEEN MILES ON THE ERIE CANAL!
Sea chantey,
Leader (while the end man belays, and everyone walks up the line and gets a grip): Reuben was no sailor ...
Crew (Singing while they pull the line back): Ranzo, boys ranzo!
(later in the song it turns out Reuben is now the captain ...)
Field holler ...
Leader: (while the crew picks up their hammers, stretches, and gets ready to swing): When Israel was in Egypt land ...
Crew (hitting on the drills on let, peop, and go): LET MY PEOPLE GO!
Capstan chantey, used to turn the winch to move the locks on the canal ...
Leader (while crew breathe and get set): I got a mule, her name is Sal ...
Crew (Walking forward, pushing on the capstan bars): FIFTEEN MILES ON THE ERIE CANAL!
by old lang guy July 14, 2008
Get the Work Songsmug. Shortened version of the backstage expression "That looked like a monkey fucking a football" -- i.e. "Oh, wow, that was so godawful awkward and stupid that I had to stare at it." Among stage crew and roadies, a monkey fuck is not just any mistake or accident. It's something that you couldn't possibly avoid that forces you to look really stupid in front of a large audience.
"I hear load-in took a while."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
"Oh, shit, they got us carts but they were two inches too wide for the passageway, and they only gave us half a crew because we had carts, and the band just got these new super expensive amps, so we had to hand carry them and not bump or drop them, and then the loading dock door jammed so we were carrying them through the front lobby, four house guys on an amp, all bent over like hunchbacks, with a roadie following us and screaming to be careful, and everyone in line buying tickets laughing at us. It was a total monkey fuck."
by old lang guy February 19, 2008
Get the monkey fuckmug.